Due date

[samanthajonespr]

I got pregnant in May last year. I had brown spotting from 5 weeks and an early scan at 7 weeks showed that the sac was inside my Caesarian scar. This is a really rare type of ectopic and I was told that there was a minimal chance of me going to term, but there was a glimmer of hope. At the next scan, the sac had started growing out of the scar, we were so happy. But at the scan the week after that, there was no heartbeat. My baby had died at around 8 weeks. Because of the sac being rooted in my scar, I needed 2 operations to clear everything away and my uterus was stuck to the inside of my tummy after my previous C section which was also fixed.

Now, here I am on what would have been the baby's due date. I'm 6 weeks pregnant and my almost 2 year old son is asleep on the sofa next to me. I can't stop shaking and My husband doesn't get back until 6. I'm terrified that something will happen to this baby and I'm very protective of my son. I feel like my life was ruined and I'll never feel happy or enjoy anything again without it being tinged with intense anxiety.

I'm sorry about the ramble, I just needed to share my story on this awful and painful day.
If anyone else wants to share, please go ahead.

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time, and about what a difficult experience you had losing your baby. The extra complications and operations sound awful. I am glad they sorted the physical issues out and that you now are expecting again. How lovely and exciting! I totally understand why you're so anxious, but I hope that you are able to find some peace and a bit of calm with this one. I often wonder how I'd cope with another pregnancy, after the trauma of my last and only one, but perhaps you can find some solace in knowing that your body is in a much better position to carry a healthy pregnancy this time. After all you've been through, perhaps it's all got you to a much healthier state, and this pregnancy will be much different. Take some deep breaths and tell yourself that you are strong and healthy and okay. Sending you a big hug

Thank you so much for replying @lauren0915
Massive hugs to you too. I'm so so sorry to hear about your little girl. I feel like my little jellybean was a girl as well but I never got to find out.
I had no idea that the due date would bring everything back like it was yesterday. I hope you're ok now.
You'll get your miracle baby, keep your eyes on the future. I never thought I'd be able to have my son and here I am, telling him off for pinching Mini Rolls out of the cupboard!!