Do you ever really get over a miscarriage?

[Zoo33]

I'm probably feeling overly sorry for myself, in which case please tell me to get a grip, but I was wondering if anyone ever really gets over a miscarriage? My relationship has broken down so I have no idea how long before I'll be ttc again, if ever, , but anytime anyone has a newborn anywhere near me, I end up a sobbing mess. Will it end?

Zoo i was told it gets better after your due date and it did. Not immediately but eventually. Its been 10 years now and i recall more how excited i was and my dreams of how the baby would fit into our family than the grief i had for the first year after.

@AnneLovesGilbert I think the loss of the relationship is making the miscarriage much harder to deal with. I felt relatively okay about it early on as we were going to try again straight away and focusing on that seemed to help. Knowing I have to get into a viable and happy relationship first is tough, especially when I don't feel age is on my side.

Thank you to everyone who has posted. It helps knowing we all struggle with this (so I'm not alone) and that some of you have managed to get over it. X

So sorry for your loss.

I feel like I have 'got over' a misc but then i conceived again straight after so had some hope.

I'm sure I would have felt very differently had I not been ablem conceive so soon. It gave me something positive to focus on and was in a position where I could believe it wasn't mean to be.

Other grief I have dealt with has got easier and less consuming over time. But you must give yourself time to heal.

I think my grief has healed a lot, but is still there. I've had 2 early m/c, then ds, then a mmc at 10 weeks and then ds2. For me there is a reason that is treatable with meds (diagnosed after mc2). I didnt know i was pregnant until the week before my 3rd mc as i hadnt had a period since having ds1, and by then it was too late. It makes me extra sad as they could have been perfect little babies had i known and taken meds. I feel i let them down.

Having 2 children has eased my pain a lot but i still feel a loss. Try to avoid fb and other pregnant women where you can til youre feeling better. Its not bitter its a bit of self protection. Give yourself space to grieve and best of luck when you do try again

I'd book it off and see how you feel nearer the time. I went trekking in Asia for a couple of weeks - having something physically challenging and really engaging helped me enormously to move on when I got back. I felt like I'd said goodbye.

@AnneLovesGilbert - that's spot on.

I just want to say I'm sorry OP and I understand how you feel. It's utter misery.

I am completely over mine. I honestly think about it with no emotion. It was relatively early (9 weeks) and I got pregnant again 3 months later, which I guess may have helped.

It's utter misery but you will get over it. Very hard coping with the end of your relationship as well - by the time I reached what would have been my due date I was pregnant with dd which made everything much easier to bear, from that moment I was able to tell myself if I hadn't had the miscarriage I wouldn't have had dd. Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to feel miserable and avoid newborns. Your three-year-old nephew sounds lovely. You will feel better, but it's still early days

@Jigglytuff Trekking in Asia sounds lovely! I've booked it off so can maybe go away for a long weekend, or stay at my parents' and drink good wine. I don't know yet. I'd go away for longer but it's between two holidays that are already booked and are quite close together.

@LillianGish My nephew is wonderful, although he's just started with the terrible three's so is a bit moody.

My baby niece smiled at me for the first time this weekend - it's hard seeing her because she was born the day I found out it was pregnant, but as previous posters have said, she / other people's babies have no impact on me and my miscarriage or my potential future babies, I just need to remember that.

Hugs to everyone else who has gone through this. It really is utter misery and so so unfair.