Hi everyone! Sorry in advance for my long post!
Ok, back in 2014 i got pregnant after 12 years or trying! Was fortunate to have 2 scans, heartbeat was seen at 6 wks ish! Had a few weeks of peachy blood and brown discharge! A few days after my last scan, i miscarried (7wks), was in hospital for 6 days, had an infection and it took me weeks to recover from the actual miscarriage!
Anyway, myself and my ex husband split and i am now with my new husband, and naturally we were trying! Ive attended a fertility clinic for years but never recieved any treatment what so ever! Found out i was pregnant on the 4th of dec last year (2017), was shocked and scared, and ended up with a UTI! On christmas day jst after i had finished my dinner i felt a single twinge, then the blood came, went to hospital, got admitted into the ward, 13 hrs of pushin, and blood and clots etc, finally it calmed down to mild cramping and very light blood! Was discharged the nxt day and told to take test after 3 wks! I was couch ridden for those 3 weeks, as i was still in some pain and light bleeding! Took the text and it was a very bold positive, so i thought retained tissue omg!! I have to say at this point i hate anything medical and have severe anxiety! So a d&c was freakin me out alot, so was a gush happening again with the retained tissue! Called dr on that mon, said they would contact gyno team, that fri my fertility dr called me and askef me to do some bloods! Went to my gp the following monday (22nd jan 2018) and my fertility dr called me on tues with the results and my hcg levels were still pretty high, so she wanted me in for a scan the next morning! Got there and i had told her and showed a pic of what i had passed on sun (forgot to say to her on the phone!), she believed it to be the placenta and that coulf of been whats been causing the positive test etc.....Lay back on the bed thing, and she began the scan, she said there was a sac and it had grew, that there was a baby there but no heartbeat......then she said wait a minute, there is a heartbeat and its movinh around!! I was gobsmackef to say the very least! Baby measured at 10 wks and 6 days, which matched up with everything ( had 2 previous scans before miscarriage) Couldnt believe how active the wee 1 was! But sad news was they were a twin and i had fully miscarried the other twin without it effecting the other baby at all!!
Well since wed i have been panicked and i mean panicked! I actually suffered a panic attack on wed night and i cant stop! I really cannot go through another psychical painful miscarriage as i have it in my head it will be a hundred times more painful and traumatic! I have looked through alot of sites and most say the other twin is more likely to survive, and if you do miscarry from 12 wks it may not be more painful but as painful! I dont know if am looking for advice or just the need to share/rant! Plz consider if you are going yo advice to filter, as i could not bare hearing/reading it would be more painful, really dont want to hear that 
Sorry! Thank you for reading if you have xxxxx