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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Miscarriage wait

27 replies

CT240 · 12/01/2018 19:52

Hi ladies,

Been reading these threads for last 2 weeks but only just felt able to post.
I started bleeding on 23rd Dec (approx 9/10 weeks pregnant), I knew things straight away weren’t right but couldn’t get scan at EPU until 29th Dec. At the scan they told me there was no heartbeat and sent me away for 2 weeks to miscarry naturally. My bleeding slowed right down after the first scan (which gave me a little hope unfortunately). Went back for my second scan today and they said there was still no heartbeat but the miscarriage hasn’t progressed. I was given the choice to wait a further 2 weeks for things to move naturally or take tablets to move things along. We decided to opt for the medical management which I have started. I am just really worried as the midwife told me that the tablets don’t always work and if they don’t it will take a further 12 days until they can do anything else. Has this happened to anyone? I also don’t know what it’s going to be like once I take the tablets, does anyone have any advice?
Thanks

OP posts:

Kit1411 · 12/01/2018 20:25

So sorry to hear this, although I have no advice I did have an early miscarriage in December and it was horrible so can’t imagine your heartache.

TotallyFedUp11 · 12/01/2018 20:31

You poor thing. I always find waiting the worst part. I've only ever had ERPCs with mine, is that an option for you? It gets it all over and done with in one go and I find that easier to deal with.

Original poster

CT240 · 12/01/2018 20:37

Thank you. They have said that they will only look at an ERPC if nothing happens for 12 days after I start the medical management. It is just so hard the process and heartache being prolonged. I didn’t have any idea that things could last this long. It has been 3 weeks already and now they have said the potential to wait nearly another 2 weeks if this doesn’t work. It means I can’t start to get over things. I know that might sound harsh but I just need to be able to start to get back to normal life.

OP posts:

TotallyFedUp11 · 12/01/2018 21:01

Not harsh at all. That seems to unfair that they're making you wait. Are you able to go back and say how hard you're finding it and how it's affecting your mental health? I don't really know what else you could do :(

Original poster

CT240 · 12/01/2018 21:33

Yeah that might be what to do, I will give it the weekend to see if anything changes but if not see if they can do anything else. Thanks

OP posts:

Bithjah5 · 13/01/2018 06:36

The waiting is the worst. I just miscarried on the 5th. But mine had already started when we found out. It took an entire week to pass everything. I CAN NOT imagine having to wait any longer than that or how broken your heart is having to wait all this time. I am so sorry.

Original poster

CT240 · 13/01/2018 07:13

Oh I am so sorry for your loss, a week is a long time to pass everything, that must have been so hard for you. I am just really worried about taking the medication and how painful/severe it will be but I suppose that is better than any more of a wait.

OP posts:

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 13/01/2018 14:39

I'm so sorry CT. I had a MMC last Jan/Feb, I started bleeding about 10 weeks and it took so long to sort out, in the end I had ERPC which sorted me out quickly, in retrospect.
I then got pg quickly and had another MMC in May-ish, this one was earlier at about 6 weeks and was dealt with differently. I had a MVA which I found to be awful, painful, excruciating and if I needed another intervention I would chose ERPC or medical management over that.
After that one by hormone level continued to rise and I basically took 2 months to get back to normal.

I'm so sorry for your loss. The waiting is interminable and feels never ending and so bloody pointless and futile. Our bodies can play some horrible tricks on us.

Bithjah5 · 13/01/2018 14:59

CT... I think if you feel like you trust your doctor, and you for sure know the baby is gone, then just take the course of action reccomended by your Doctor. It did take a while for me to go through it naturally and it was painful. I think it will be painful no matter what. You are giving birth. Every option has some level of pain and some level of risk. My Dr. Prefered that i go through it naturally but would only let it go a week before offering any type of intervention. Mostly just to be sure there wasnt anything else going on. I had an anembryonic pregnancy. Sometimes if the date of the pregnancy is wrong they cant see the baby yet through ultrasound. So they want to wait to be sure that the date is correct. Just incase the baby is still growing but younger than expected. If i were in your shoes, if your Doctor has reccomended some type of medical intervention, take the pills. Then do the surgery if that doesnt work. But thats just me. I would want to at least hold my baby and see him/her. If you do a surgery you never see it. At least thats what ive read. I hope that helps. Im sorry for what you're going through. Nothing makes it better. But Ive heard in time the pain of the loss is easier to manage. Im just hoping for that.

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 14/01/2018 11:07

I found out that my baby had got to 8+1, had passed a week before my scan at 9 weeks (this was the 25th Nov). I had no idea. Then had the surgical management on the 8th Dec after nothing happened during the wait. It's only in the last few days that I have an AF where hopefully it gets rid of the last remaining tissue that is left (had to keep going in for return scans and waiting, having another, waiting). It's only now that I think I can move on as you can't really go forward until it's fully over.

Please don't let them keep you waiting. It leads to this anxious uncertainty and no one deserves that. Be stern and make them go through everything with you so you have all of the options, and what happens afterwards with each one. Is there any reason why they can't do anything after a medical management for a while?

Original poster

CT240 · 14/01/2018 12:57

Thanks for your message and I am so sorry for your loss and wait, just pleased you can start to move on now.
I started the medical management yesterday, was in quite a lot of pain and it restarted my bleeding but by 6pm the contraction type pain had stopped and my bleeding has slowed right down. This is what I was so worried would happen. They have given me more tablets which I can try tomorrow to see if they do anything. It just seems so cruel having to wait so long. Don’t know why the wait for the surgical, they just said it was procedure to give the medical management 12 days. If the tablets don’t seem to do anything tomorrow then I am going to have to push for the surgical. I’m not at work at the moment in fear of something happening when I’m there and really need to start to move on. What seems worse in some respects is that (take away the pain from yesterday) I feel fine phyisically so feel like a big of a fraud.

OP posts:

Thumper1 · 18/01/2018 12:50

Hi, I am getting very stressed out & usually I'm a fairly calm person. I had a miscarriage on 29th Nov, I bled for about a week, stopped for about a week then have bled on & off from then until now. I am getting weekly blood tests to check my hcg levels. Then are eventually sitting at 450 but coming down very slowly. I'm back again on Tuesday but my doctor has now suggested instead of waiting to get the methotrexate injection to finish the miscarriage off as there must be some tissue stuck. I can't seem to find too much info on this injection. Has anyone here had it before or heard of it? I'm very confused, it's been 8 weeks now, don't know if I should carry on hoping it'll eventually finish naturally or just get the injection? Any help or advice would be good

gingerbreadmam · 18/01/2018 13:02

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I had this. The tablets didn't work. They did something, I bled a bit had some clots and aches and pains but not a full miscarriage. I didn't know either. When I spoke to the hospital they were sure from what I had told them that I had.

I ended up having an erpc eventually after some troubles. It was 5 weeks from my first scan after a small bleed which showed a pregnancy of 5 weeks when I should have been 9.

I have no idea why they let women complete this process at home without any supervision.

The pain though is bareable, I found moving around helped.

Thumper1 · 18/01/2018 13:29

Sorry to hear this also happened to you, I have had 4 internal scans & they are sure there is just a tiny bit of tissue left to come away but it just won't move. It's not the tablets they are offering me it's the injection ( it's used also for cancer patients ) I just can't find any info on it so not sure if it's very common to be used in miscarriage. What's an erpc?, not sure I've heard of this

Thumper1 · 18/01/2018 13:38

The waiting is the worst bit, I never thought for one minute I would still be confused after 8 weeks.

gingerbreadmam · 18/01/2018 13:40

I can't remember what erpc stands for but it's surgery under general anaesthetic to remove the tissue.

I've had two and would choose them any day over the waiting and wondering and the psychological side affects of being hopeful as well as scared of when it might happen and how.

Thumper1 · 18/01/2018 16:30

Thank you for your reply. As you say it's the psychological effects it has on us, and of course we really want to start trying again. I hope everything works out for you

gingerbreadmam · 18/01/2018 17:16

Me too and the same for you and anyone else trying again.

My last one was March last year and just gearing up to TTC again soon so fingers crossed.

Thumper1 · 18/01/2018 18:54

I hope you don't mind me asking but is it your choice to have waited until now to try again or is this because of the long miscarriage?

gingerbreadmam · 18/01/2018 19:02

Yes. I had an mmc then got pregnant straight away which ended in a stillbirth. I took a long break after that to spend time grieving my son then tried again and had another mmc but it was a stressful pregnancy. I bled from 6 weeks and had lots of good scans then discovered at screening at 14+2 Hb had stopped a couple of days before. It was a shock as I had passed the 12 week danger zone.

I'm over weight and am aware that can impact things so I took some time out hoping to loose some but tbh I'm an emotional eater and I just haven't managed it. I've just had another birthday and figured it's either age or weight which is going to go against me and I need to pick which one.

I'm 33 which I know isn't massively old but I can't see me losing weight overnight so I'm going to try whilst being healthier and hope for the best.

My stillborn there was no cause of death and my last mmc the baby had triploidy but from what I know neither were related to weight.

I have been fortunate in the past that I have fell quickly.

Thumper1 · 18/01/2018 19:37

Awww I am so sorry to hear all this, what a hard time you've had. I really hope it works this time for you. I am also turning 33 this year and have always felt early 30's is a good time to have a baby so I'm keeping everything crossed that next time it works for me too. I just need to get through this miscarriage first, back for bloods on Tuesday so will see what my hcg is at by then, fingers crossed for zero

gingerbreadmam · 18/01/2018 19:50

Oh thumper I really hope it comes down. Are you on the TTC after MC thread or are you moving over there? I've just joined.

It's awful when the MC is so drawn out. I hope it comes to an end soon and some happy news is just around the corner. Really sorry for your loss and thank you for your kind words.

Thumper1 · 18/01/2018 19:58

I've not moved over there yet, I'll wait until this miscarriage ever finishes. I just wish I could find out more about this injection they've suggested for me. The real thing that puts me off is because it's apparently a very strong drug. Don't want it to make me have any further issues in the future. You never imagine all this happening when you fall pregnant, do you? You really have had a horrible time though, I can't imagine how hard it's all been for you

gingerbreadmam · 18/01/2018 20:19

I've never heard of the injection either. Is that the only thing they have offered you?

I would query whether mva is an option especially if it's a really small amount. Have you heard of mva before?

I remember with my first mmc I had a really terrible time and when I went though it afterwards with my own DM (who has had 5 kids) she said to me having a baby will be a breeze after that. I know I welcomed my son in horrible circumstances but she wasn't wrong about the delivery.

Thumper1 · 18/01/2018 20:35

Yeh they say a d&c isn't an option since it's only a small amount of tissue that's left. I haven't heard of mva before, what's that? Sounds like you've had such an awful time of it all, just not fair you've had to go through all that. What did you call your son?

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