Missed miscarriage, 17 weeks - a few questions

[NotBurpeesAgain]

I had my first scan at 13 weeks and I knew the baby had few chances of survival.
I am now 17 weeks +3 and earlier today I was told the baby had no heartbeat.
Apparently it happened weeks ago, soon after my first scan.
I still have no signs of miscarriage. Why is my body not letting go?

I asked the consultant if my baby would be "damaged" after staying in the womb for so long and she said that it would. Can someone tell me how bad it will be? What should I expect? I would really like to see my baby after the birth.

I'm so sorry 💐 I was told at my 20 week scan that my baby had no heartbeat, he was measuring 17 weeks and I had no signs of a miscarriage at all. When he was delivered a few days later he was perfectly formed, but because it had been around three weeks they warned me that he would be an odd colour. It turned out there was a knot in the umbilical cord.

Thank you. My baby probably had a chromosomal abnormality, but I was told there could not be a karyotype because the cells need to be "fresh".

I am glad your baby was perfectly formed.

Hi

I'm so sorry to read your post. Those awful words of no heartbeat will stay with you forever and its the worst type of pain possibly when you lose your baby. My baby was stillborn at 39wks and although perfectly formed it was distressing to see her skin in the state it was in as she has died a few days previous. Her top layer of skin was hanging off as it has peeled off from soaking in amniotic fluid and she was bright red as though she had been burnt. I don't know if your baby would look the same as this at 17 wks but at least if you know its possible it might prepare you a little bit. Spend as much time as you can with your baby once born and take lots of photographs and a print of hands and feet. These are things you will use for some comfort in the days/weeks/months ahead. Sending you strength xx

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I went to my 20 week scan and was to.d my baby had died a few weeks earlier. TMI the baby wasn’t baby coloured like a baby instead was blue/grey which was hard to come to terms with.

If it is possible ask for hand/footprints.

Sending you much love and strength for the road ahead.

Thank you. I have just taken the pills. I hope they work fast.
I feel prepared for the strange colour. I hope the baby will still look like a baby (the consultant told me it was hard to identify the different body parts at the scan).
My worst fear is that the placenta will not come out properly. I am dreading a curettage under GA.

Hi so sorry to hear about your loss It actually helps to read other people are goin thru this I had my first scan yesterday at 12 weeks and was told baby was only measuring 5weeks and no heartbeat and to come back in 10days. I think it’s to check I just don’t hav my dates wrong but I am 100% I am 12 weeks not 5 so know the baby died. My question is I have no bleeding and if the baby has been dead 7weeks surely I should of had some kind of symptoms can this cause harm to me because it happened 7wks ago and hasn’t passed? Also when I asked what happened next all they said was we will give u some options in 10days.that seems like forever away to go on carrying my poor dead baby inside me 😢 sorry for the long message I just feel so lost x

MJ I am so sorry for you.
I gave birth yesterday (my son had died 3 or 4 weeks ago) and I have no idea how long my body would have held to the pregnancy if I had not asked to be induced. He was born in the amniotic sac and the placenta was intact. Tge consultant had asked me if I wanted to wait for the miscarriage to happen naturally. She told me that there was no danger as long as I was not bleeding or losing fluid.
It was horrible to carry my dead baby, but now he has been born I miss hum terribly. At least I knew that inside me he was warm and safe.
Sending you

Oh that sounds awful I hope it gets easier for you you hear about people having miscarriages but you just think that won’t happen to me. I hav to wait 10days before they will do anything I just hope I miscarry on my own before then but no signs of it happening so far 😢

Perhaps knowing that your baby is gone will help get things in motion.

I hope things get easier with time. At the moment I feel as if I were in that split second between the moment when you hit your toe and the moment when you feel the pain. I know pain is coming and I know it is going to be atrocious, but right now I am numb.

burpees I'm so sorry for your loss. I gave birth to my son on 10th jan and our stories sound very similar. No heartbeat at 20wk scan and they thought he died around 16/17 weeks. No idea how long I would have carried him for either before miscarrying. I was induced to have him.

How are you doing this week? Have you had any answers yet?

Hello Twix. My baby's funeral is on Friday. I have not heard from the consultants about the results.
I am back in the same hospital because DD is very ill. She nearly died on Sunday (DH had to do mouth to mouth). They suspect encephalitis.
I don't know if I will be able to attend my poor son's funeral.

Oh burpees, sending all my love and prayers for your daughter. What a worrying time for you. I truly hope she's ok.

Much love to your family xx

Could you postpone the funeral, given the circumstances?

No, the funeral cannot be postponed (French rules are Much stricter than British ones).
Sadly most people do not understand that we are having a funeral at all. Several people told me "but it wasn't even a baby?"

That's so sad. I really hope you can be there.

It was a baby. Your baby boy. With ten little fingers and ten little toes and a heart that was full of your love x