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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

3rd miscarriage - now what?

17 replies

louisab29 · 04/01/2018 15:24

So I've just found out I've had another missed miscarriage, the 3rd one within a year. I don't have any children and all 3 pregnancies have ended in the 8th week. I'm going to be referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic now although I have been warned that more often than not, nothing is found. Has anyone had experience of the NHS recurrent miscarriage clinics? Did they find anything wrong with you? I'm just feeling totally deflated, I read It Starts With The Egg and followed all the guidance and advice, and it still hasn't worked.

OP posts:
Greymoon2016 · 06/01/2018 19:50

Hello I don't have any experience of the recurrent miscarriage clinic but I've had two missed miscarriages and wanted to say I'm sorry your going through this too.

I found out on the 19th of December my baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks five days I should have been 12 weeks. I opted for erpc but my womb was punctured so I had to spend Christmas pregnant but knowing it was ended.
That was hard my medical management worked and I miscarried on the 29th. I'm nearly 36 so I'm hoping I can have testing due to age but I have two healthy children so I may not.

Good luck going forward I hope your rainbow baby isn't far away x

SteffiMuse · 06/01/2018 19:57

It's a horrible thing to experience and you ask why me? I had three miscarriages then went on to have boy girl twins who are 15 months. I just had my referral letter from the hospital when I found out I was pregnant with them so didn't end up going.
With my twins I did take a low dose of aspirin when I found out. Don't know if this helped
All the best

AnneLovesGilbert · 06/01/2018 20:19

I’m so very sorry for your losses. Mmc is unbelievably cruel and completely shattering. I had an early mc many years ago when not ttc, then started ttc with DH and got bfp in August 2016 and had an early mc, conceived again straight away with no af in between then found out about mc at 12 week scan, it had stopped at 9+5 same as greymoon and tried medical management but it failed then had an MVA November 16. Got referred to RMC by EPU and first appointment was early january 17. Had full lot of bloods done and they tested fetal tissue from the surgery so we got the results in the first appointment. All was clear.

The clinic runs once a week and we went back for test results 4 weeks later, all clear. I had my next bfp that day so started on the RMCs protocol which is injected fragmin/clexane that day and had an hcg test that day and a second 2 days later. The second hcg showed it wasn’t progressing and I had a natural mc at 5 weeks.

It was very reassuring to have a full load of tests done and to find nothing was wrong but also frustrating that there’s nothing to fix and no real reason to believe it won’t keep happening. My consultant is sure that for most people with recurring mc it’s a clotting issue, even when they can’t diagnose it with bloods, hence the clexane for everyone who wants to try it. He’s being running the clinic for 17 years and has only had 5 or 6 women not carry to term in all that time. They also offer scans every 2 weeks from 6-12 weeks when they hand you over to normal antenatal care if all is well.

I’ll be honest, 3 mcs in 7 months nearly finished me off, we’d conceived so easily I’d been pregnant for 6 months and still had no baby, it was spectacularly shit.

After the February mc he put me on baby aspirin from ovulation to af and I’m still taking it.

The bad news is that having conceived so easily I’ve now spent the last 12 months ttc and not had another bfp which is also taking a toll. I don’t have any reason to think it’s connected to my previous mcs. But having worried about continuing to get pregnant and then losing them, I’m now as worried about not getting pregnant again. Ttc has not gone how I thought it would!

DH has DC from his previous marriage and we’ve asked about tests as we haven’t conceived in nearly a year. As we’ve done it several times before they’re not keen to test anything but we’ll ask again in a couple of months.

Chase up a referral to your RMC. From chatting to others there’s a huge variation in how long it takes for them to see you and what they test for. We’ve been really lucky in all of our dealings with them, and everyone else we’ve met in the process. 7 weeks from referral to appointment and really kind, helpful care. Just need to get pregnant again now...

I’m more than happy to answer any questions you have about it. There’s also a brilliant thread on people ttc after recurrent mc/pregnancy loss under Conception where you’re welcome to join in and rant, ask questions, let off steam etc.

Sorry for the epic essay. You’re not alone OP, which sucks because who’d wish this on anyone else, but there are plenty of people who get it and want to support each other Flowers

1sttimeunicorn · 06/01/2018 20:28

So sorry for your losses. I also had 3 mc over the course of 3 years ttc and no kids yet. I have been there. It’s horrendous. At the time I completely believed I wouldn’t have children and felt such a failure. I went to the nhs recurrent miscarriage tests, which amounted to an ivf consultant telling me just to try again and that it would be fine. She was very much ‘if you’re getting pregnant it’s fine.’ Our results came back clear. They also tested DH and I for a genetic problem as we discovered our third loss had a genetic issue as we managed to have the baby tested. We had those tests even though we knew it was highly unlikely to show anything up, when it didn’t it was still a relief.
In the end I went privately to a clinic where I had my immune system tested and they told me I had a high level of natural killer cells. They gave me a plan that involved taking a low dose of steroids while ttc until a negative pregnancy tests, but continuing the steroids if it was positive. After 7 months ttc I got my positive result and feel incredibly lucky to say my DS was born in April.
There really is hope. I highly recommend the tests and treatment that I had.
Very best wishes.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 06/01/2018 20:41

I'm sorry to hear this, OP. FWIW, IIR Lesley Regan's book on rmc correctly, your losses seem to fit the classic profile of clotting issues. I've had 6 mcs interspersed with term pregnancies - 1 mc then first baby, 2 mcs then second baby, then 3 mcs followed eventually by baby no. 3. I was tested after the fourth mc although I hadn't 'made it' to three consecutive at that point (not in the UK though). I turned out to have Factor V Leiden and a homozygotic MTHFR mutation, both of which relate to clotting. Two further pregnancies failed despite heparin (one of these was a fairly rare chromosomal issue - we had karyotypes done after that, they came back normal), but, for whatever reason, my final one continued. I still don't really know whether my clotting problems were the cause, especially because I had carried to term among all that, but neither do I know whether I would have dd without the heparin, and it's also useful information in terms of situations later in my life where heparin might prevent clotting. I had certainly, by mc no. 6, pretty much given up hope of carrying to term again, but even after 3 consecutive mc the prognosis is not entirely bleak. I'd have a read of Lesley Regan's book IIWY - it may now have been updated, I first read it back in 2004 - and sort out some questions to ask at the appt while you are waiting for it. The very best of luck Flowers Where you are is a rotten place to be.

InfantHercules · 06/01/2018 22:45

Flowers to you OP, and everyone else on this thread.

I too have had three miscarriages in a row and it’s miserable. Like pp I had referral letter in hand when I got my next bfp. I am now cautiously pregnant again (5wks), and trying to stay positive.

Stories like the ones above give me hope. I hope they do for you too.

Like pp said, you are not alone. There are so many women going through this shit. It’s good to have a place to talk and ask questions Flowers

louisab29 · 07/01/2018 17:08

Thank you so much for your replies ladies. I'm feeling so deflated today and wondering if it's even worth to continue to try and have a baby. Why is it so easy for some people and not for others? I'm going to go and see my GP next week and she what they say.

OP posts:
1sttimeunicorn · 07/01/2018 17:40

I really have been there. Felt useless, hopeless etc. Happy to PM if you ever need to chat.

InfantHercules · 08/01/2018 12:48

The very best of luck for what is to come OP.

Finding the right GP within my practice helped me a great deal. Don’t know what it’s like where you are, but ours assigns you one at random unless you specify. My supportive GP remains an important part of this whole process.

Thinking of you - and good luck xx

EmmaHawk · 21/01/2018 17:56

Hi ladies, just wondering if I can join the thread? I’ve had my third mc almost a month ago, just after Christmas. Yesterday, a really close friend of mine told me she was pregnant and I’m complete torn with feeling excited and happy for her and also being completely unreasonable and just wanting it to be me. She’s completely understanding, which makes it worse!!

I just fed up of the waiting - it’s so disheartening. GP has referred me to RMC and I have no idea what to expect...

Sorry for the rant and negativity!

JJPP123 · 21/01/2018 18:01

I had a natural miscarriage and then 2 missed miscarriages and then became pregnant with my twins. I took progesterone support and low dose aspirin for most of the pregnancy.
I don't know if stories of other's successes are helpful right now, I know I felt very bitter and convinced it would never happen for me but statistically speaking youre still very likely to have a baby. I'm not sure I'll ever properly enjoy a pregnancy now given my history though.
Take care of yourself Flowers

InfantHercules · 22/01/2018 09:55

Sounds like your friend has been really understanding Emma. Once a bit of time has passed I’m sure you’ll appreciate that above all else. Everything you say sounds really familiar!! Hard to be positive when you’re feeling so devoid of hope.

As above, I’m cautiously pregnant again after three mc. But a 7wk scan last Friday was inconclusive and didn’t show what it was supposed to. Got a horrid two weeks before another viability assessment. I think you’ve just got to cling onto the hope when it’s there, and ride the sadness when that takes over. It took me a few months to come out of the fug of my second mc. Seeps into everything, doesn’t it? Takes the shine off everything.

JJPP thanks for the positive story! Will add that to the armoury!

Hope all are ok. And wishing you all the best.

EmmaHawk · 22/01/2018 13:52

I know, I feel so horrible and unreasonable but I just hope that deep down she understands. So hard to stay positive! And yes, unfortunately it does seem to seep in to everything Sad and everything seems to take such a long time too.

Best of luck with your second scan. I’ve got everything crossed for you that things are developing as they should be now.

Hope you manage to keep as positive as you can x

mummyjules8 · 22/01/2018 14:02

Hi there. So sorry for your loss. Same thing happened to me...was hard, sad, devastating and the more. But there is hope out there. I'm afraid I didn't get any NHS help...wasn't even offered to me and my husband. But I got some acupuncture as it was recommended by a friend at work who had got pregnant after it. I had several sessions plus some herbs to take. Who knows if that did it, but I managed to hold a pregnancy after that. But left field but worth a mention. Good luck xx

sirlee66 · 22/01/2018 14:25

Couldn't read and run. Just wanted to say how deeply sorry I am for your terrible losses. Losing a child is abhorrent and I'm so sorry you've had to go through it.

I wish you all the very best for the future and all the luck in the world xx

InfantHercules · 22/01/2018 20:31

Thanks Emma, you’re deffos not unreasonable. Far from it!! Same best wishes back to you for your next steps. Smile

Another friend swears by acupuncture. I might give it a go.

Here’s to a good 2018 for all!

lilyvoltage · 22/01/2018 20:38

My SIL had eight MC. She was diagnosed with an upside down cervix. Her consultant recommended she take aspirin and her ninth pregnancy went full term with no complications. Wishing you the very best OPThanks

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