Moving forward, how?

[TakeMe2Insanity]

Last week I went for my 20week scan and discovered my baby had died. I subsequently took the medication to physically miscarry. What followed was horrible. I lost consciousness and 2.5 litres of blood, had blood transfusions along with an emergency operation to save my life. I feel so overwhelmed by everything.

My husband and mother have been extremely supportive. MIL asked me today “if I was ok” today and why I wasn’t going out. I am so physically exhaused. My arms ache from all bruises gained in hospital. My normal clothes don’t fit yet, so I am still wearing maternity clothes and breaks me each time I put them on. I feel like a fraud.

I don’t know how to move forward from this? This was my third miscarriage this year. The latest I ever miscarried. I look at DS and all I see is what I have lost rather than what I have. I feel like such a failure. I really don’t umderstand howI can get past this.

I'm so so sorry for what you're going through.

I suffered a loss just over a month ago. Every day I still struggle but it does get easier- well it's starting to for me. There are moments of intense sadness and confusion, but also moments of something along the way to acceptance, and hope for the future.

The only advice I can offer (apart from contacting organisations who can help and maybe offer counselling) is to just try and be in the moment. Just get through hour by hour and day by day. Don't try and feel "fine", or pretend you're ok. It's alright to stay at home and cry, grieve for your loss.

I'm still very much in the throes of it and finding my way so sorry I can't be of more help, but you're not alone and you will get through this. You will find some courage from somewhere.

I have found this charity to be particularly helpful

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk

You can give them a call, chat to them online or just read their leaflets.

Sending lots of love to you xxx

I'm so so sorry for your loss. How totally heartbreaking! I understand the physical exhaustion slightly, I miscarried earlier than you but had the drugs to give birth etc and I was so exhausted afterwards. Not to mention the huge hormone changes. Be kind to yourself, give yourself time to heal physically and mentally. Sending a massive hug your way xx

I can relate. 3 weeks ago i felt very same. 3rd mc in a year, my baby died suddenly at 16 weeks. My world stopped and i didn't know how to move forward. I still have very bad moments but i try to take it one day a time. I have to for my ds, for our family and future baby. I have lost all hope and was constantly looking at what i lost, how cruel life was. But i was only torturing myself. So i'm consciously trying to force myself to plan for future. I have been doing massive research about ruccerent mcs, i have bought books, made appointment with fertility clinic, booked acupuncture, exercise classes. That is the only way for me to keep sane and keep going, i have to have a plan and feel i'm doing all i can to prevent it in future and give myself a chance for a very wanted baby. We just have to be strong for ourselves. Sending you lots of love, be kind to yourself.