I just found out I am pregnant Sunday and something does not feel right.
I haven’t been bleeding but the tests I have done have been quite light lines, no progression, and the lines have taken a while to appear (rather than appearing pretty much instantly as with my viable pregnancies).
I chart my temps and they remain above the cover line but are not nice and high as with a normal pregnancy. In fact, my chart reminds of of my first ectopic.
I’ve had 2 MCs and 2 ectopics (and, more happily, 2 children). I also had 2 rounds of IVF which failed and then basically dialled down trying. I can cope with loss. But I am struggling to cope with this waiting. It’s too early for a scan. I may be able to get one Friday, but if that doesn’t confirm it is in the uterus I will be ‘in the system’ and having loads of follow up for weeks... and we have a much needed holiday coming up in mid-December.
I also have a ft job and today have to perform as though nothing is wrong, even though I dread going to the loo in case I’m bleeding and every twinge makes me fear ectopic. If I go for a scan Friday I have to fit that around 2 meetings and a business lunch.
My DH does not know I am pregnant as I can’t cope with his worry as well as my own.
I just need either for this to be over or to get to scan and find out it is in the right place.
And I needed to get that out, so thanks for reading.