Absolutely gutted at miscarriage

[Worriedscot2207]

Hi everyone,

My partner and I have been ttc for years and this year we had all the fun of fertility investigations. 3 months after the HSG and a booked appt with gynaecologist we got that BFP!!!
It took us a while to actually believe we got pregnant naturally and only told a few people. At the time we told our families my SIL told me she was pregnant too! Excited to be bump buddies we were chatting all the time about pregnancy & planning our futures together. She already has a DD and prior to this pregnancy she had 2 MMC.
On the 27th October 3 days before my scan I started bleeding, so heavy. I’ve never bled like that and knew from the offset I was having a miscarriage. I was admitted to the gynae ward and the clotting and agonising cramping continued. It was a natural miscarriage and had an ultrasound 4 days later which confirmed everything had gone. We were absolutely gutted. Dreams shattered and took some time off work to grieve.
My SIL was lovely and texted to keep in touch but now she’s completely off the radar. She’s now 20 weeks and having a little girl. I am very happy she has gotten so far and everything is in order. But I’m gutted about the reminder she is still pregnant and I am not. Is this awful?
My bleeding stopped a week after and we started again 2 wks ago. Went back to work and it’s busy and keeping me going. Had slight cramps and little brown spotting that lasted 3 days, my boobs have went veiny again. I’m trying so hard not to get my hopes up as I need to wait over 6wks for AF to come but can’t help thinking..
Anyway thanks for reading. I don’t know how people get over miscarriages, and I respect anyone who was went though this awful experience. Love and hugs to our lost little angels xox

So sorry you’re going through this. It’s totally understandable that you feel the way you do.
I really hope things get easier for you and that your sil being pregnant becomes more bearable.
Make sure you keep talking to someone else, DP or your mum about your feelings. Big hugs xx
Hopefully you’ll get a BFP again soon and that it’s a good sticky one xx

Thanks AnnM08

Yeah my partner has been my rock! We have a cry, talk about what could’ve been and he’s keeping me going by keeping upbeat and positive. My mum had a mc between my two other siblings and she’s been aamazing too!

Had no idea until now how common it is. So many people have came forward n told us their stories and had absolutely no clue. It really is 1 in 4 eh!
Forgot to say the nurses at the follow up appt on the day of my scan were amazing. They called me a few days ago too! They really don’t get the credit they deserve.

Thanks again for reading & replying.

Xox

Sounds like you’ve got one with your other half and your mum too.

Yeah it really is common. Doesn’t always help with the emotional pain though does it.

Wishing you lots of luck for the future xx

I'm so sorry for your loss :( I had an mmc in July and my SIL has just had a baby so I can understand 😔 Got everything crossed you get a BFP soon, we've been ttc since July after the mmc but no luck yet xx

Thanks AnnM08 good luck to you too xox

Kej13 I’m so sorry for your loss too! It’s heartbreaking eh! Find that this forum is my safe place the now and thank god we have somewhere to go when it gets us down.

I really hope you get that BFP your hoping for soon too! Fingers crossed for everyone on here too xox

Until it happens to you I don't think you realise quite how heartbreaking it is! Coming here and seeing everyone's stories makes you feel less lonely doesn't it! X

Yeah ur right Kej13 would have had no idea about the people in our circles who have had MCs until they heard about ours. Yeah does make it feel less lonely like you say. I’m glad we’re not alone and have somewhere to rant and chat xox

It's great we can rant here, no one I know has been in this position so can't start to understand. Husband doesn't really get it either! Xxx

Kej13 poor you! I’m lucky my partner has been greiving with me n talking through what could’ve been. Have you tried talking with your husband? Maybe he’s trying to be strong for you both? Men aren’t the best at talking are they! You can rant as much as you like on here. We’re all here for each other xox

He was upset when it happened but he's not a 'feelings' person anyway. If I ask him about it he just says it's upsetting but he's loads more positive about the future than i am so that probably helps! Xxx

Yeah it’s definitely the tonic having that someone keeping you going. Especially when you could be doing everyday things and it all comes back to you. I’ve found having shared the experience makes our relationship stronger and it’s ok to be upset and have a cry. I really hope our luck changes soon. Can only go up from here eh! Xox

That's it, it can't get any worse! A few of my friends know so that helps, I'm not that close with my parents so they didn't even know I was pregnant and DHs dads been brilliant but things are a bit strained with MIL at the moment. I think the problem is people expect you to get over it and I really think you never do xxx

Kej you're totally right, people just expect you to get over it but it's so hard. Sorry to everyone else going through this too

I had a MMC and 4 weeks on am still getting positive pregnancy tests despite the scans showing nothing retained so it feels like it's never-ending. We had our first set of friends tell us they were pregnant last night since our miscarriage and it's brought all the emotions flooding back. DH is keen to get together with them as we haven't seen them for ages but I'm really not sure I could see them without crying considering their due date is only 2 weeks after ours would have been.

I completely get that, luckily my friends haven't got round to kids yet (and don't think they will for a long time yet!) but we have family members with babies so I get it! I'm so sorry you're going through this xxx