Inevitable Miscarriage at 12+6

[anxiouswaiting]

Has anyone had 'inevitable miscarriage'? My baby was 12+6 and we lost him almoat 3 weeks ago. Woke up with bleeding and mucus plug lost in the night. In hospital they said I was dilating and they they thought they could see the sac. I had a scan a few hours later, he was alive, moving around and heart beat just fine. But he had moved down into the neck of the womb, they told me miscarriage was inevitable. 12 hours later my water broke and 12 more hours after that I delivered my perfect little boy. I just can't get my head around the fact that he was alive and fine yet my body was pushing him out. I could understand if he had died but he was still alive in there! The Drs of course say it is just 'one of those things' and 'sometimes miscarriages happen, it is very common'. Sorry but I just don't believe after 12 weeks they are common, that's why generally people share their news after 12 weeks right? I know people often sadly go to 12 week scan and find babys heart beat stopped but I just don't understand why I would miscarry my baby who still had a perfect heart beat.

I’m so sorry. I hope you have a follow-up and some answers. Sometimes, sadly, there are no answers.

Sorry for your loss. It is really devastating, more devastating than I would have imagined until I went through it. One of my miscarriages was at 12 weeks too. The doctors are right in that it is very common but I know that doesn't make it much better.

Have they mentioned testing the 'products of conception' (awful terminology I know) for any chromosomal issues? It might be that the baby was incompatible with life. Also, my miscarriages were down to natural killer cells not this so this is not my specialist area, have they mentioned incompetent cervix? I know people who have had similar experiences to you and that has been the issue.

I am afraid that with miscarriage you often need to be your own patient advocate and do your own research as GPs can often be not as well informed and also see it so often. It might be worth you speaking to a miscarriage expert to see what they say. You can't see one through the NHS until you have had 3 miscarriages in a row but you could always have a private conversation with one and see what they said so you are forewarned for next time in case it does sound like, for example, an issue with the cervix.

I’ve lost two past twelve weeks, one at sixteen and one at eighteen weeks. I’m sorry for your loss but yes sometimes it does happen, there are mechanical reasons like shape of the womb, poor attachment, the placenta not developing. There are chromosomal reasons, to do with development of the baby, occasionally there are genetic reasons. Sometimes no reasons or none that we can find. But twelve weeks doesn’t do anything magical (it is twelve completed weeks, also, so the first trimester is up to 13 weeks) Early pregnancy units I’ve been in see babies up to 14 completed weeks of pregnancy, so up to 13+6 - after that you are in labour ward, being looked at strangely as the one with no bump, listening to all the babies crying and being induced for your miscarriage, etc. Even though the later you are the less likely it is, it’s still common to lose babies in the late first trimester or early second trimester - around one in fifty pregnancies end this way.

For my two there are no reasons. Bad luck. I am sorry.

I am so very sorry for your loss. your experience is very similar to mine and I also can't get my head around it being just one of those things.
I plan to go back to the hospital next week and try to understand a little bit more. I was 13 weeks
Thinking of you at this time xx