Approaching due date sadness

[Fia256]

Please tell me this is normal to feel like this

In June, I lost my little boy at 16 weeks. I was very depressed for a little while afterwards but then seemingly became at peace with it. We went straight into trying again and that was making me feel much better about everything.

Now we are in October, I feel as though my emotional state is back to where it was at the time of losing him. We also went to a party yesterday where a lovely lady there was due the same week I should have been and I think this is what’s set me off even more!

The last week or so I’ve felt very down and teary, just breaking down randomly every so often. I’ve had no patience at all all day long, snapping at everyone and tonight I was awful for my poor little DD while she was trying to read which resulted in an almighty row between myself and DH. I feel like such a terrible person and just like I’m back to rock bottom again.

I think this is all a combination of seeing those heavily pregnant bumps due Nov, the fact I’d be about going on mat leave soon, (I’m miserable in my job at the minute so that ones not helping much), a month away from due date, and that since June, I have had a chemical and now AF is on her way again and BFNs.

I really felt like I was turning a corner and at peace with what had happened, but now I feel right back to square one and I’m worried this is only going to get worse as the date approaches

Hi Fia
I feel exactly the same as you. Miscarriage at 13 weeks in June started ttc 2 months ago - no joy yet and AF about to come and keep thinking I should be due in November. A mum at school is due the same time and constantly WhatsApp's on the parent group about her pregnancy. I cried so much last night my eyes are still swollen today! I am guessing it is normal and hold onto the thought that the darkest hour of the night is just before dawn - soon it will be dawn for both of us and something wonderful is around the next corner, we just have to get through the worst bit first. Thinking of you x

Sorry for your loss.

Significant dates are always difficult although I don't find the due date one as bad - maybe because it is the day that hardly anyone gives birth on. For me the hardest dates were the definite ones like the first BFP, scans where miscarriages were confirmed, dates of surgical/medical management, the first BFN after miscarrying, first Christmas etc.

It really is tough and horrible, so be gentle on yourself and take whatever time you need to adjust. Remember, it is different for all of us so don't feel you should be feeling more positive after a certain amount of time when there really are no rules.

My due date is approaching and I am finding it very difficult. I am a sensitive person to start with, but i am even more sensitive and emotional/teary at this time. I feel like I have gone back a few steps as this date is approaching. I seemed to be coping as well as i could be a few month before the due date. But the due date is approaching and I am finding it invredibly difficult and it is only going to get worse. My partner works away and I find I am worse when I am alone. I have moments of no return which is incredibly difficult. Anu advice xx

Can you do something special on your due date? I climbed a mountain and had a little ceremony to say goodbye. I was on my own but I needed to be - it felt like a really private thing.

I also planted a tree in the garden in memory.

Hmmm I am going to sleep at my nanna's on my due date as I don't want to be alone as it will make me so much worse. I will probably cry my eyes out if i was on my own. I just feel like I want suport that day. My nanna suggested lighting a candle. But i don't even think I want to do that.