Past of miscarriage

[mummabear222]

Do I need to tell my midwife I have had a miscarriage in the past? I've only had one and I don't really like to talk about it to anyone. there wasn't anything wrong it was a natural miscarriage

I like to put it to the back of my mind as much as possible really. It's how I deal with it

Yes, it's important she knows as it's part of your medical history. At your booking appt there will be a section about previous pregnancies, including miscarriages - it needs to go in there but after that it will probably never be directly mentioned again. Just tell her the basic details and move on.

Is there another reason you don't want to tell her OP? Such as your partner not knowing? At your booking in appointment, your partner will be asked to leave the room for a short time anyway so that the midwife can ask you confidential questions, such as if there is a history of domestic violence in your relationship: you could tell her about the miscarriage then.

No, you don't need to tell her but you would have to go out of your way to lie because you will be asked whether you have or not. If, for whatever personal reasons you have, you do not want to say anything then I very much doubt it will make a difference. However, if for any awful reason you miscarry again, it might be worth bringing it up to see if they are linked.

For what it is worth, due to the limited space on the booking in forms, I have only written about my later miscarriages where I did need to go to hospital because I don't see the other ones as being relevant and when I explained to the midwife she agreed I didn't need to write them all down.

I hope everyone goes well for you this time.

your partner will be asked to leave the room for a short time anyway

I have been to many, many booking in appointments and my husband has never been asked to leave so please don't count on this happening OP.

I just don't like to think about the miscarriage, it was a tough time for myself at first I had my sad moments and then put it to the back of my mind. It was a very very early miscarriage was caused by typical life style of drinking and smoking (obviously not knowing I was pregnant) my partner does know but we don't speak about it as it did put a strain on our relationship at first. I just wanted to know whether I had to tell he midwife or not as I'm worried bringing it up may cause a strain again on our relationship and stress for this baby I'm carrying

Then don't bring it up. I wouldn't.

caused by typical life style of drinking and smoking

I guarantee you that this did not cause you miscarry. Almost all miscarriages are caused by chromosome abnormalities and not by smoking or drinking. I promise you. Don't add to the sadness it has caused by feeling guilty that you were in any way to blame.

Congratulations on your pregancy mummabear. As the OP above said you really didn't do anything to cause your miscarriage, I can assure you of that. Nothing you did would have caused issues that early, nothing you ate drank or smoked would have passed across the placenta to the baby until around 10 weeks.

I do understand how you feel talking about what happened. I'm in the same position as you, misscarriage last year and I'm pregnant again now.

I know it'll be really hard but do try to mention it to your midwife, she will ask you of you've been pregnant before as part of your booking appointment. I had a good cry whilst explaining to mine, she was lovely, put it on my notes, and has never mentioned it again. She has however been a great support during this pregnancy, after a loss I've found whole thing really worrying and she's reassured me at every step.

I had some counciling too at the time which helped me process everything that happened.