called off the wedding and ended relationship 2 weeks after miscarriage

[ukulelelady]

I went through a traumatic and painful miscarriage at 7 weeks. That sounds bad because they are all painful and traumatic in the fact you are loosing your baby.

I was on my own with my 5 yo DS. It was the early hours at the weekend. I knew I was loosing the baby. There was so much blood and massive clots the size of my fist. I passed out 3 times and managed to call my sister who lives nearby - I figured if I passed out again before I could call an ambulance. My fiancé lives 150 miles away.
I was taken to hospital, no easy feet when you live as remotely as I do. Lifeboat, followed by ambulance, check up at local hospital, then transferred to main hospital. They did an eternal exam during which 2 fibroids were removed along with more tissue.

The hospital wanted to send me home there and then but 200 miles from home with no transport and after 5pm meant I had to stay the night. I was sent home the next day and my fiancé joined me the following day. As I say I live in a remote place.

We had brought the date of our wedding forward when we found out we were pregnant. I thought it would be good to have something to look forward to so we kept the date and progressed with our plans.

I thought I was fine, emotionally. Not physically because I was still feeling light headed a week later. About 2 weeks after the mc everything my partner did really irritated me. Especially the fact he wasn't with me when it happened. I know I was being hormonal but I didn't see that I was. He left believing things to be strained but fine. I should point out he is not my DS dad. So, 2 days later I called off our wedding and ended my relationship with him, over the phone. I didn't see any point or any way of working things out. I cancelled all the wedding plans and got in touch with relatives to say it was cancelled and my relationship hadn't worked out.

I started bleeding again last week with bad cramps and the bleeding is getting worse. I feel so really fucking low and haven't been able to stop crying when ive been on my own. It felt like the worst pmt just before I ended things. I feel like I've made a mess of my life and his and can't forgivemyself. I still love him and miss him. I don't know the point of putting this out there.

Before anything else, you need to get medical assistance for the bleeding (unless this is your regularly scheduled period)

If you're soaking through a pad an hour you need urgent assistance whether it's your period or not

Yes absolutely you need to get medical help.

Then you can focus on what you want moving forward. Youre going through a really traumatic experience right now, so you're not going to act in a rational way. You can talk this all through with him once you've sought that medical assistance!

I've been on the phone to the early pregnancy unit in my hospital who has also advised me to see my gp. I'm on my way there now. Thanks.

You OK OP?

Thanks Juliet, I've got an infection. Have been given antibiotics and iron tablets. As for everything else, I'm sure that can be dealt with in time. I feel like I've been wrung out.

Take it one day at a time and focus on recovering, could you access some counselling to talk about what happened? Really hope you feel better soon.