Hi... I'm not even sure what I'm about to type really so bare with me.
My due date is approaching and the closer it gets the harder I'm finding it.
I had an early miscarriage in January but it absolutely devastated me and my then partner... or so I thought it devastated him.
I dealt with the trauma and the grief alone, he didn't see me or speak to me for weeks until a month after when I found out he'd been cheating on me since the day after I began bleeding. We obviously split.
I think his behaviour contributed to how hard I found the loss.
I struggle constantly even saying congratulations to pregnant women which I know is awful of me.
Newborns make me cry & I can't help but talk about babies near constantly with my partner (we've been best friends for a decade, he picked me up from my lowest point and we became closer and closer until we found ourselves in a relationship)
We're extremely happy as a couple and we're actually moving in together in October. We've discussed babies but said wait a year or two ofcourse perhaps even more.
I have a 3 year old DS who absolutely loves babies. He's constantly talking about them too (clearly picked up on it from me)
Sorry for rambling.
I just need some advice on how to help the grieving process? I know it's not been too long so it still feels a little raw
Tbh the worst part is 2016 was horrific for me. last year I was forced into a termination I didn't want and then falling pregnant and finding out on the last day of 2016 that I was again pregnant was amazing news. Only to be ripped from me not long afterwards.
I tell myself it's karma for the termination and that I deserved it but my partner says it wasn't my fault and I shouldn't be kicking myself over it but I can't help it.
I feel so guilty. 😢