Miscarriage at 16 weeks

[tabbycatbythesea]

Found out yesterday we lost our precious rainbow baby, we lost a little boy in Feb (who would be due around now) and now have lost this little one.

As I'm 16 weeks I need to be induced. Does anybody have experience of this? I'm so scared.
Have a history of recurrent miscarriage, but nothing this late - what's wrong with me?! Since we started having children 9 years ago I've now had 15 miscarriages. I am so numb, don't know how to move forward, but any advice for now about the near induction would be gratefully received. Thank you

I'm so sorry Tabbycat

I'm so sorry. I lost my daughter at full term but through SANDS met other mothers who were in the same position as you

When they induce you they will use a pessary or gel to get your cervix to open up, try to break your water and move on to a hormone drip. You can be given help with the physical pain.

When your baby is born you will be asked if you want to see him/her. She/he will be perfect, teeny tiny but fully formed and her/his skin will be dark and slightly transparent because of his or her age. You will be allowed to spend as much to as you need with your child.

I found the shock carried me through and out of all of my labours it was probably the sweetest, most bitter sweet . When I saw my little girl she was beautiful. Slightly puffier because of being upside down and her little lips and nails were dark from the lack of oxygen but my heart was for her only.

The hospital may ask you if you would like them to bury or cremate or if you would like to do it yourself, not that either of those options are anything you would 'like' not anything you would imagine doing, but looking back we gained great comfort from her funeral. I guess it gave us another precious memory in a world of too few memories.
Just a thought but have you thought about giving your baby something to keep with them? I have a split mother daughter pendent. The mother side is with her and I have the daughter. It makese feel we are connected still. A friend had a gold bracelet made into a bracelet for her baby and a ring for herself and her husband.
Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel and please pm me if you want to ask anything or just need an ear. I'd love to hear about your gorgeous little rainbow.

Hi there. I am so sorry for your loss. I suffered a miscarriage at 16 weeks in january. It is not an easy thing to go through but they do give you plenty of pain relief and I got to see my baby . Even though it was very sad I was so proud of the little one. The hospital also arranged a cremation and we had a lovely service following the post mortem. I have just suffered my 5th miscarriage last week at 8 weeks and I am getting desperate now. They found no reason for losing my boy at 16 weeks and I am losing heart that I will even get another baby. Lots of hugs to you and you are not alone xx

So so sorry tabby :(
I agree with what badgers said. I too went through this a month ago.
Baby was 14 weeks and had suspected patau (still waiting for genetics at hospital to confirm this)
I think the fear is worse than the process. The pain relief was great. We choose not to look at the baby as it made it all too real for us, but it's personal choice. We found the nurses very supportive....
Wishing you all the best for the future x

@tabbycatbythesea I'm so so sorry your are going through this, I went through this exactly 3 months ago. Our 20 week scan showed our little rainbow baby boy had stopped growing at 16 weeks.

I was booked in to be induced the next day. I was given two lots of tablets every so many hours, and a strong pain killer. Nothing much happened for most of the day, we went for a long walk around the hospital grounds and that's when things finally started to move along in the evening.

My waters popped which was a very unpleasant feeling and something I wasn't expecting to happen. Then he came out around 5/10 mins after that. They tell you you won't need to push, which is half true, but I did find I did give a slight push and I knew he was out. The midwife had to yank the cord away as placenta didn't come out (normal to happen). They took him away, cleaned him up then brought him back in to us and we were given as much time as we needed. We also got his footprints taken.

We also opted to take his body and arrange a private cremation. They say you can't before 17 weeks in the leaflet but we got a tiny white coffin and there was actually a good amount of ashes which now sit next to my bed.

I did have problems with the placenta coming away but narrowly avoided theatre. All I can say is cry as much as you need to, it took me a long time to come to terms with ours as it felt so much like a still birth rather than a miscarriage. Sending you the biggest hugs xxxxx

Am so very sorry for your losses and your most recent, late loss. A couple of years ago, I found out at my 20 week scan that our dd had died at 17/18 weeks; she was our fourth loss, the 3 others were all in the first trimester.
Anyway, other posters have said and explained everything far more succinctly than I can. All I will reiterate is that get all the support you want/feel you need and be very, very, very kind to yourself. Losing our dd was not only devastating but life-changing as well.
What I wanted to ask, though, is what support are you getting from the hospital? Have they tested you for everything and can you get second opinions from elsewhere. More than 3 miscarriages and a late loss is not just 'bad luck' - something my hospital kept trying to fob me off with - so I do hope you are getting the treatment you might need.