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Missed miscarriage
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coastalchick · 30/08/2017 08:56

So, I'm 38, 39 in 3 weeks. Got pregnant first time and was overjoyed. Felt so lucky.

Had an early scan at what I had calculated (tracking ovulation and sex) was 7+3 but baby measured 4mm and they put me at 6 weeks. Saw heartbeat but I was worried and mentioned to the scanner that it should be bigger. Of course he knew best and said I must've got dates wrong.

Had really bad morning sickness then it stopped on Sunday and sore boobs stopped too. Had small amount of bleeding. Demanded OH took me to A&E Monday. He thought I was overreacting but took me. They said cervix was closed and took bloods and referred to EPU.

Went yesterday after more bleeding and they scanned. It hadn't developed at all. So missed miscarriage. Going to have the tablets.

Just feel awful, like yet another kick in the teeth for me in life. And annoyed that no-one listened or believed me when I KNEW something was wrong given size on scan. Why do they fob you off thinking they know better?!!!!!

So terrified of trying again but OH wants to crack on as soon as we've dispelled everything. Have just ordered OPK's, preg tests and pre-seed. Know we just need to crack on given my age but terrified of same thing happening again.

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Presh12345 · 30/08/2017 09:22

Hi, you are exact same as me! 38, 39 in 3 weeks. I had a MMC in June. Had a scan at 6 weeks and saw and heard the heart. Scan at 9 weeks showed the heart had stopped. I went for the op as it was all over much quicker and everything returned to normal. Period returned as normal, bang on 3weeks3 days. Not pregnant yet despite everyone saying you are more fertile after a miscarriage. πŸ˜“

Hugs and thinking of you. Xx

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coastalchick · 30/08/2017 10:05

@Presh12345 so sorry for your loss too. Hope you get pregnant again soon.

i was always worried about MC, particularly given my age, but just don't think anything prepares you for it. It's just so awful.

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SleepFreeZone · 30/08/2017 10:15

coastalchick I've been through two miscarriages, one MMC due to Downs and now one late termination due to Edwards. In that time I've also had two healthy children.

I'm afraid TTC later in life is a horrible minefield and statistically the odds do start to stack against us but I think if you can fall pregnant the likelihood of having a healthy child is really high. On the plus side your body recognised early that things weren't right and the baby wasn't developing correctly. That's so much better than the body hanging onto something that's gravely ill.

Wishing you all the best πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’

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ibentmywookie · 30/08/2017 12:19

Sorry for your loss.

I conceived at 39 and had a mmc as well. Six months later I conceived my DD. Unfortunately I've gone on to have another mmc and shortly afterwards a tfmr when T13/Patau syndrome was discovered at my dating scan (both recent).

I share your frustration at the protocol of waiting and re-scanning, I have notched up a grand total of ten early scans over four pregnancies now, and the limbo is a killer. I was also absolutely certain of my dates as I'd been tracking ovulation. The thing is, at such an early stage, things can change and measurements are not always easy to obtain, or accurate as they are so tiny, and they have to be sure.

I am still waiting for my cycle to get back to normal four months on, but we will be trying again (I'm now 43), but I am realistic about the chances of miscarrying again. It does only take one egg though, and I know plenty of women who have conceived and had babies naturally in their forties, so don't give up hope. Good luck.

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Mrscropley · 30/08/2017 12:23

To give you a positive story I conceived ds at 42 and gave birth at 43.
Ttc again at 44 hasn't been good though. 3 chemicals and a mc at 8 weeks. . I know that's my baby days over at 46 and it's really difficult to accept. .
With ds I took folic acid and ate lots of veg. Dh took soluble vit c (1000mg twice a day)

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Presh12345 · 30/08/2017 12:24

I'd add too that I get so annoyed and upset and pissed off and cross at the moment. Two of my best friends are pregnant, one due any day, one due in March, a family birth two weeks ago and I recently found out that two cousins are pregnant, both due at the same time I would have been.
It's not fair. πŸ˜“

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coastalchick · 30/08/2017 13:14

Whole thing is shit.

@Presh12345 - totally get that, I was due end of March. My cousin is pregnant and due Jan, my other cousin's GF is pregnant and due Feb. Though can't be annoyed with the January cousin as she has had loads of miscarriages and failed IVF so am genuinely happy for her. Another friend is due Jan but again, she has had loads of failed IVF so again can't be annoyed. However, another friend had a baby in May and she's one of those who has a "perfect" life and whom everything falls into place for (though her husband is a complete nob) and another friend due in 5 weeks and again, she already has a 2 year old, lovely house, lovely husband.

Mustn't get annoyed though - my fiancΓ© is amazing and I am v lucky to have him. Just hoping that we do go on to have a baby soon.

@SleepFreeZone - thank you and sorry for your losses too.x

@ibentmywookie - sorry for your losses and hope all is brighter for you soon. x

@Mrscropley - congrats on your baby and sorry for your losses too. fingers crossed for you aswell x

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coastalchick · 31/08/2017 09:30

ended up in A&E last night for 3 hours on morphine drip as was in unbelievable pain. Came home around 230am and ok now.

Got first stage of medical management today at 230 - the first tablet. Then in hosp all day sat. Just want to get it over with now.

Seems very unfair and think it will ruin our enjoyment of any positive result in the future. If we are lucky enough to conceive again, next time I don't think I will be on these boards, reading anything or telling anyone, probably until 20 weeks next time (if we get that far).

Life is fucking shit

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Presh12345 · 01/09/2017 07:49

Hey Coastal
How you doing? I know how shit it is. I'm with you. Lots of us know what it's like too and how unfair it is. You will want to try again and when you do get that BFP, it will be just as exciting as this one. Well that's what I'm hoping for anyway!! (AF due today, did a test and got a BFN).

When you say medical management, is that the tablets or the op? I no longer live in the uk and where I live, tablets aren't an option.

I hope you're ok xxx

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coastalchick · 01/09/2017 10:08

Hi. Pretty poo. It's the tablets. Had first set yesterday afternoon and have to go into hospital for the full day tomorrow for the rest/to pass everything. Dreading it, but also want it to hurry up as that is only way we can move on.

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Presh12345 · 02/09/2017 12:29

How's things today Costal?

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coastalchick · 02/09/2017 14:42

Well, it's over. Was bloody traumatic but the baby had gone. Going home in about 20 mins. From tomorrow we are on massive health kick - lots of fresh fruit and veg and fish

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