4 weeks since miscarriage

[Vicky369]

Hello

I'm feeling odd really, we have been so busy with my little girl and went on a last minute trip that I find myself distracted then all of a sudden there will be a trigger and il burst in to tears. I went swimming the other day and cried as first time swimming since the miscarriage that I did so. Was just a reminder. Seeing pregnant women hurts at the moment I have to turn away, it's not jealousy more painful than anything else. Then on Facebook there are triggers everywhere baby adverts etc and even today a friend announced her pregnancy. It makes me angry and sad all at the same time that I'm not celebrating but grieving instead. Thoughts whizz round all the time Remembering how happy we were and how it was taken so quickly, I want another baby but can I go through this again and what will the pregnancy be like- will be over anxious now? Can I even get pregnant again and then I have thoughts of something awful happening to me or the baby and then my daughter is without me?! I'm feeling irrational anxious and it's difficult to make decisions. Is it true your more fertile following a miscarriage as this has also been playing on my mind, I'm so worried my mind needs to heal as well as my body but wonder if it will at all and then leave it to long etc! Sorry just confused and overwhelmed at the moment 🙁

Lovely Vicky, big hugs to you. All of those things you're feeling sound completely normal. Don't feel bad about muting people on facebook or doing whatever you need to do.

I mc my first after trying for 2+ years a week ago and I've been having some irrational anxious thoughts too, like thinking about horrible (unlikely) things happening and getting upset. Remember that your hormones are probably all out of kilter and be kind to yourself.

Apparently you are more fertile afterwards but who knows. Did you get a period yet? If you don't feel psychologically ready to try, perhaps wait another month. The miscarriage assocation also run a free helpline where you can speak to women who've been through the same thing.

Thanks for your reply. I have had pmt symptoms but no period yet, I stopped bleeding three weeks ago so who knows! Thanks for your help x

Sorry for your loss.

I experienced a lot of what you are. It did slowly get better. I couldn't look at pregnant women for several months. I got anxious about all sorts of things i wouldn't normally.

I'm not sure about being more fertile after a miscarriage. It's only my opinion but i think it's more important to wait until you're emotionally ready before you try again.

I found the Miscarriage Association's online forum useful. We went to a 'Saying Goodbye' service at a nearby cathedral: www.sayinggoodbye.org. I also went to see a counsellor who specialised in miscarriage counselling - this was free through a local charity.

OP sorry to hear what you're going through!

Those feelings are completely normal- I remember being the gym on the cross trainer and just started crying. And that was at least several weeks after the miscarriage.

What I found so hard were all the announcements- FB and otherwise- that were in the weeks following our awful dating scan. It was because those women had similar due dates to me & I wished that we could be telling our family and close friends.

I was hoping to be more fertile in the months following my missed miscarriage but it was sadly not true.

Thankyou for all your replies ur all so kind and I'm sorry for your losses too xx

So sorry for your loss. I think how you're feeling is totally normal. I cried for months solid. I felt robbed and was really angry at the world. The only thing that helped me was talking to ppl that have been through it. Give yourself time to grieve this baby before you put pressure on yourself to conceive again. But rest assured that it can happen and you can get through it. A wise woman told me that you never get over a mc, you just learn to live with it.

Hi Vicky, I am so sorry for your loss, I can completely relate to what you're going through and the thoughts that are going through your mind. I'm still trying to come to terms with my loss. I miscarried on the 19th Sept and still waiting for my period to arrive so I can get tracking my cycle properly again but I am so worried that this will happen again. I was 4+5 weeks and only 4 days after I miscarried my colleague who sits opposite me has just found out she's pregnant and 6 weeks gone.. I am so happy for her but it's torture listening to everything she's experiencing so far in her pregnancy I just question why me. Even though I'm not alone in this but it's hard. I question myself is because I'm 41 or because I've had 2 miscarriages before I had my son who's now 22 so I not look after myself enough, scared of doing too much but also want to be healthy and active. So much going through my mind.. I know it's hard for you but everything you're experiencing is completely normal..

I'm ttc and tracking my ovulation but really want something to happen whether it's Aunt Flo that makes a show or a positive test..

Stay strong lovely. 💐