I've read through most of the previous threads today and hearing so many of your experiences is so helpful. Backstory and then some questions below if anyone can share their advice -
I had a mmc confirmed today a couple of days before our 12 week scan. The baby had died just before 9 weeks. I started bleeding Sunday (yesterday) in the early hours and thankfully got seen at epu early today. Everyone was so lovely and kind. I'm going to have surgery to remove everything tomorrow - I can't bear the thought of carrying on for weeks like this.
I think my oh was more optimistic than me, both because it's not his body and he was just more optimistic that despite the bleed it might all be okay (not unrealistic, my symptoms weren't clear cut). I also think that because we conceived after trying for a long time and having fertility treatment, I felt more anxious that things might not work out than he did.
I seem to feel... weirdly relieved right now. I am also incredibly upset and crying a lot but I'm so relieved that we weren't told to come back and rescan in a week or that we didn't go to the 12 week scan and get the awful news.
Obviously it's very early but he's struggling more at the moment - as a woman I guess I also have more experience of miscarriages - several friends have had them.
Any advice for how I can support him (please don't think he isn't supporting me too), and also, any advice re what route you went down re the remains? The hospital offered us burial, cremation or funeral (the first two can be chosen but we don't have to attend but we can if we want to or we can do and there's a service). He was so distraught and upset - I think being asked to choose and offered the options brought it home that we'd lost a baby (or what could have been a baby) and he's very upset about choosing the wrong thing or treating the baby like it was nothing.
Phew. Thanks for your input ladies ❤️