Hi, I have never started a topic, or even replied to a topic on this site before, however over the last two weeks i have found this place to have been a real comfort to me. Two weeks ago when i was 8+5 weeks pregnant i was about to get in the shower after work when i noticed some brown discharge in my pants. I went downstairs and told my husband and after some googling we both felt like it wasn't anything too serious and just one of these things that happen in early pregnancy.
The next day however when i was in work i started getting bad cramps and when i went to the bathroom i had more brown discharge. I spoke with my mum who was concerned and suggested i rang the hospital (as it was a Saturday). The midwife on the phone was lovely and reassured me that brown blood was usually old blood but to be on the safe side they booked me into the EPU for a scan on the Tuesday.
The night before the scan I had some bad cramping in my back and I think this was when I kind of realised deep down that it was not going to be ok. The next morning on the drive to the hospital my husband was remaining optimistic and I felt a bit excited again because what if it was all ok and I was going to see my baby's heartbeat for the first time?
The woman who did the scan was so lovely and put me at ease. After asking a few questions she called my husband into the room and started the scan. There was complete silence. She moved the scanner over my stomach a few times and then after a couple of minutes asked if she could do an internal scan. Again there was complete silence for ages until; "I'm so sorry, I cannot find a heartbeat". I looked at my husband and gave him a small smile, "I knew it".
She told us that i should be 9 weeks but the baby was measuring 8. I had had a missed miscarriage. I went home to wait for it to happen naturally with another appointment booked for the following week. Nothing much happened except for more brown blood and some cramps. I attempted to go back to work but after 3 days i couldn't face it. Emotionally i felt strange. Sad but mostly lonely. No one else i know had ever heard of a MMC.
I went back on the Thursday and opted for the medical management. I took 4 pills orally and went home. Two days later I went back for another scan and I had 4 pessaries inserted internally and was told I would have strong period cramps and to go back to hospital if i bled through 4 pads in an hour.
I just want to say that i did not have strong period pains. Although I have never given birth before I can only describe the pain as a form of labour. From 1:30pm until 6:30pm i was in agony. I was taking strong cocodamol and ibuprofen and they did not touch the pain. I had a hot water bottle on my back and one on my stomach. My husband tried putting me in a hot bath, then i tried lying in bed, then i sat on the toilet. I became afraid and asked my husband to phone the hospital and see if this was normal. They were very nice but said they could do nothing more for me in hospital but if i really wanted to come in i could. I don't think i could have made it to the car to be honest.
Eventually after 5 hours of intense contractions i started to bleed and the pain stopped immediately. My husband made me soup, i got into bed with my hot water bottle and prayed that it was over and i wouldn't end up needing a d&c anyway after all of that.
Today i went for another scan and i was told that i had passed the sac and although there was still some lining to come away i would not need the d&c. I am now at home feeling quite sad and still very sore and crampy. Not much appetite and no one really who understands what is happening. My husband and family are amazing but i just thought i would write my story on here for anyone else going through this.
The hospital staff were amazing and so compassionate. I only wish i had known how painful it would be. I am not a drama queen and normally have a high enough pain threshold but that was intense!
Anyway apologies for the book and if anyone who has gone through this or is currently going through this would like to reply i would be grateful :)