Please or to access all these features

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Empty inside

5 replies

Bree17 · 11/08/2017 21:23

The day was august 8th, 2017 - 12:45pm

I stare past the white neon lights of the A&E room I have been placed in, all the way at the end of it there is a spot on the wall. It is small and dark, really stands out against the duck egg colour of the wall

The wall is large, the spot sitting in it is so small, so insignificant...felt like looking at my own reflection for a second

A doctor walks in the room...stares at me...I think he said a few words which were meant to be something comforting, there might even have been a soft touch in my hand, followed by
"Im so sorry we have to meet under this circumstances...my name is doctor xx"

I just stare at the spot...somehow is the only thing keeping me focused, only thing I can relate to in this entire situation. The more I look at it, the more I can almost anticipate that at some point the paint will just swallow it, take it away, make it disappear - and hopefully make me disappear along with it

"Our priority is to look after your wellbeing" - was the answer I kept getting to my questions...no one seemed to comprehend I just didn't care much about myself unless they could tell me life was still beating and growing inside of me, until I had hope again

Then it came....the moment the wall finally swallowed up the spot. Took less than a second. An expression in a face...no glimpse of hope in those eyes...only a hint of tears forming up as that sweet nurse just struggled to find the way to articulate her "I'm so sorry" words to me

And so I let them swallow me up, drown myself in them. I refuse to accept the "it is not your fault...we see this every day" speech - I don't...and I never expected it to happen to me. Why should I?

"It was just not meant to be" well when did god send his verdict over? Sorry I missed the memo.

I don't care for those approaching me saying it was probably for the best, better now that it was still early than later. It was not, it would never be - he was mine and I was his...he was much part of me as I was of him and that was just taken away from me without a choice.

I'm hallow and empty inside and I feel like I'm not allowed to grieve the same way as if he had actually made it into this world

I think again and again of that spot in the hospital wall as my own fragility displayed in front of my eyes. I will never be able to control it, I will never be able to stop it...but I can only hope to be able to (again and again) pick up the pieces at some point.

OP posts:
K0013 · 12/08/2017 10:08

Thinking of you bree. I'm so sorry you are going through this xx

Cocoabean25 · 12/08/2017 20:01

I'm so sorry xx I constantly punished myself thinking people would think I was an idiot for grieving over a tiny baby that was never born but then I realise about 3 months into grieving that it didn't matter what other people thought because the only important thing is your feelings towards your baby. People who say things like 'it was for the best' or 'it wasn't meant to be' are completely insensitive and have no idea how it feels to miscarry a baby. You will eventually be able to feel some normality again but not yet. I feel more normal now (I miscarried in January and my due date was in two weeks time) but I certainly don't feel like the same person I was before I miscarried. I still get very upset and probably still cry every week because I'm still grieving. It will get easier but your baby will always be a part of your life xxx

3littlebadgers · 12/08/2017 20:12

Bree and Cocoa Flowers I'm so sorry. I too have been there trying to comprehend this desperation. There are no words to describe the pain. I am two and a half years down the line and my heart still aches for her. These precious children will always be loved.

ImnotawitchImyourwife · 12/08/2017 23:21

Beautiful
And so sad.
Sorry for your loss Flowers

bananafanana1 · 13/08/2017 13:04

Thinking of you Flowers

New posts on this thread. Refresh page