fathers after miscarriage-how to communicate?

[time4tea]

a friend has just mc, we were sharing experiences yesterday. one thing that didn't go too well for me, and I couldn't share anything positive really, was talking to DH about the mc. Although he did his best to be supportive, it didn't seem as devastating to him as it did to me, and I couldn't communicate how I felt very well, and I felt really alone, and ended up doing most of my unloading on MN, even through the subsequent pregnancy (we now have DS2 )
any better experiences you can share? it would help my friend, and might help me to pick things up a bit with communicating with DH
thanks

Hi. I found out that i had a molar pregnancy two weeks ago and i have to say my dh treats the whole thing like i have had a splinter in my finger so i talk to my mum. He was upset for a couple of days but since then his attitude is we have to move on, it really gets on my nerves. Not much help but i think a lot of men deal with it like that.

I should have had my 20 week scan last thursday fter losing our baby at 15 weeks. I was sad for the day and my dh told me to stop wollowing and that it was time to move on. If only it was that simple. He is completely over it and cant understand why i am not

my dh bottled it all up and i realised later he was totally devastated but wouldnt show it.
put it this way, he wont let us move house beacuse we planted a little tree in this garden and placed an angel statue under it as a memorial for our lost babe.

you cant win with men.

I got very upset at dh because he didn't seem terribly affected by our two m/c. He turned around and told me that he was extremely upset about the m/c, so upset that he couldn't face talking about it because it hurt too much. It made me think that as much as I felt I needed to talk about it, he also had the right to grieve in his own way. At the end of the day, MN is very supportive, so I left him alone after that...