2nd pregnancy. First miscarriage- around 8weeks

[BEB88]

Not sure why I'm writing this, it's probably more for my own therapeutic reasons than anything else but I'm currently going through/gone through (not really sure of the terminology) a miscarriage. I went for my routine 12week scan last friday and found out that the baby had died at around 8weeks, I had no signs before the scan that I might of miscarried, so it was a huge shock. I was booked in for a d&c but unfortunately before the appointment, I miscarried naturally, it was so painful and awful. I already have a 2year old and I had no problems getting pregnant with him and then I got pregnant as soon as we started trying this time and again there were no issues until the scan. The drs said it's Just one of those things and my brain knows they are right and that it doesn't mean I won't be able to have another baby. I just feel so utterly heartbroken and terrified and I don't know how to get through it. I just keep thinking what if it never happens again and I feel so bad for my little boy that I might not be able to give him a sibling. I know how Lucky I am to have one healthy baby already and I know it's not logical to be thinking this negatively but I just can't seem to get my mind sorted over it. My husband isn't particularly sympathetic, he keeps saying it's just one of those things and it'll happen next time. My mind knows all the logical things to say and I know there are people going through far worse and that I should really count my blessings that I have a child and that I did manage to get pregnant, but yet I can't seem to go even a few hours without completely breaking down about it. I feel like I shouldn't be making such a big deal out of it, but I just feel so scared.

Sorry to hear this.

Your situation is exactly like mine- I had a MMC last summer at 12+6 found out the dating scan although I did start bleeding on the morning of the scan.

Like you, my LO was 2 yrs old at the time & I had fallen pregnant straight away the first and second time- literally stopped the pill and 4 weeks later I was pregnant.

Use the forums here to find the support you need and also those around you in real life.

Last summer I spoke to friends/acquaintances who I never knew had had miscarriages (some multiple) in the past. I was surprised and shocked but it made me feel less alone in experiencing this dark side of pregnancy which I had obviously known existed but had never dreamed I would experience.

Unfortunately I have not yet managed to become pregnant again- we started TTC once I had a negative test 3 weeks after the MMC.

The way you are feeling right now is completely normal- I felt all over the place for a good week or so following the MMC news.
It will take time to get back to a new "normal", be kind to yourself and take support from family/friends.

I will admit that I am not "over" my MMC, however I've come to realise that I don't think you really get over it, but more that you learn to live with what has happened. I also think that it would have eased the pain if I had managed to conceive/have a healthy pregnancy/baby in the last 12 months.

Wishing you strength

So sorry for your loss, sounds pretty similar to me. Previous to this been pregnant once, no issues wasn't a planned pregnancy and found out at 20 weeks! This time around found out fairly early, had some light bleeding sent to early pregnancy unit. Had a scan on the 14/08 found out no heart beat and baby died at 8 weeks 4 days. Should of been about 10 weeks so missed miscarriage. Had medical management on the 15/08, wished I had opted for surgical as I. Hospital half an hour after medication I passed everything in the toilet. I was distraught, I will never forget that experience. Been a very tough week all bleeding stopped by 19/08. Very teary and overhwhwlmed with sadness
And cry uncontrollably at times. I think until you've actually experienced a miscarriage, you don't realise how awful it is. I'm trying to keep positive and found lots of posts on this forum that give me hope. Hoping I get pregnant again fairly soon

Sorry for your losses. It does get easier to deal with. Although as said above you never get over it. All you can do is give yourself time. You have every right to be angry, sad, emotional and everything in between. I also felt guilty and scared about not giving my child s sibling. My rainbow baby is now 3. There is hope and you will slowly get to the point that you can go a whole day without crying. Speak to people who've been through it. You'll see that you will get through it

My thoughts are with you all and so sorry for your loss. It is difficult to come to terms with it, and I don't think I'll ever get over it.. I found out I was pregnant on 14/8/17 me and my partner were overjoyed but was soon to find out the happiness would be short lived as I started spotting on 17/8/17 I was monitoring myself carefully and praying I was only spotting but unfortunately I miscarried on 19/8/17 I'm still devastated about it and feel like I can't talk to anyone as don't feel people quite understand. I was 4+6 weeks and to me I had this beautiful baby growing inside me. It's so comforting to be able to write my story and read other people stories and to know I can put my feelings down on here without feeling silly for talking about it. I still haven't had my period yet and wanting to start ttc again. However could I have conceived straight after my miscarriage as I think I ovulated around 29/8/17? Has anyone conceived after miscarriage but before having a proper period? Thinking of you all, stay strong 💐

Thank you all for your messages, I really wish you all only happiness and beautiful healthy babies. it's comforting to Hear people's stories but it's heartbreaking that so many people go through this 😔I thought I'd update this post as to where
I'm up to as I've had such a rollercoaster since I wrote this message.

I stopped bleeding around 5 Aug i didn't want to go back on contraception I think may way Of coping was just to focus on trying again. Anyway I didn't get my period after 6weeks so I took a test and turns out im pregnant, I had such mixed emotions. I went for a scan to see if they could see how far along I was and turns out I'm currently 5weeks, they could see a sac however there's a lot of bleeding around the sac so they've told me to expect to lose this pregnancy too. I have to go back in two weeks for a viability scan to confirm. I just can't believe it's happening again. The dr said it's nothing to do with getting pregnant so quickly and again it's just bad luck. I just don't understand how this can be happening again when everything was so fine with my first. I just feel numb at the moment.

Chelity you can definitely get pregnant without a period first and although my story is not the ending I wanted, it doesn't mean it won't be for other people.

xxxx