I don't want to see my friends and I feel shit about it

[keeponrunning85]

DH and I are going for dinner at a friends on Thursday. She is 35 weeks pregnant. It felt like it would be manageable but she has now invited other friends who will have their 16 month old with them. There will also be another couple who don't have children/aren't pregnant but I just don't want to go.

My friend's DS was born about 6 weeks after my first would have been due and is a permanent reminder of what could have been. Last week was the due date of number 3. Number 4 would have been due in December so the upcoming baby will be a reminder of those 2. Number 2 would be turning 1 next month.

The whole way through I've told myself that I won't be someone who can't cope with seeing their friends who are pregnant/have children because then on top of having 4 MCs I'll also be left with very few friends which would be another stab in the heart. But it is feeling very difficult right now.

Can someone just tell me to man the fuck up please?!

Also, is it me or is the whole bloody world pregnant right now?

I'm so sorry for your losses
You really don't need to "man the fuck up" right now, you've had a really shit time and it's ok to be sad and grieve. It's said a lot but it's true: be kind to yourself.
You say you don't want to lose your friends over this, and that's totally understandable, but for the moment it's ok not to be ok. Can you make an excuse not to go?

Talk to your friends. If they're worth having then they'll understand. Perhaps arrange to see them on their own and explain how you feel.

Geez lady it is definitely not a time to tell you to man up. You have been through so much and no wonder you are feeling that way. I bet your friends would totally understand how you feel and I can imagine they would feel the same way if they had been through as much as you have. Please take your time to think about it and do what is right for you. As the previous poster says if they are good friends they will understand x

you don't need to man up at all.
An acquaintance of mine (whom I do have to see more frequently than I'd like) is currently 26 weeks pregnant. I would have been 27 weeks. I do feel very negatively towards her and if I'm honest I feel jealous. You're just experiencing natural feelings.

Thanks for your replies ladies.

My friend who is pregnant has been so supportive since day 1, and I know I wouldn't even have to make an excuse, she would totally understand. To be honest I think I'd feel worse if I cancelled. At the end of the day they're our friends and care about us. I often build these things up in my mind and the reality isn't as bad.