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Struggling
4

Lizap83 · 25/07/2017 08:52

I'm currently going through a miscarriage that has so far lasted a week.
Last Monday it started with bleeding but no pain I called the out of hours team and was advised to go to them to get checked over. They checked me over and said my cervix was closed and that it was classed as a threatening miscarriage. They booked me in for a scan Tuesday morning.
The scan showed baby all well with heart beating away as it should and was told that sometimes women just bleed. It had seemed to have calmed down so we went away happy.

Early hours Wednesday morning I had painful cramps and when I went to the loo I had passed a clot which I thought was the baby. A second clot passed with some liquid but I didn't manage to catch it. We went back down to out of hours where I was told the clot was just a clot and not baby howevervtgey couldn't check cervix as bleeding too heavy. I was kept in and monitored and each clot I passed was checked and confirmed as a clot. The bleeding calmed down again mid Wednesday morning and they sent me for a scan. And as we hadn't passed baby we were feeling positive. But on checking my uterus was completely empty. I must have lost baby that night at home.
They sent me home to grieve and explained the worst was over.
Which it seemed to be. I even managed to take my son to the dentist on the Thursday afternoon. However when driving back started getting pelvic and hip pain. I went to bed early and in the early hours of Fridays pain was unbearable every 2 mins and loosing huge clots. Called 111 who called an ambulance. Hospital treated me for an infection and kept me in they decided to give me a pill to empty uterus. As although scan had shown it was empty it had shown my uterus walls were very thick. This seemed to have got rid of the worst and was allowed home Saturday armed with antibiotics, painkillers and anti sickness meds. My bleeding now is similar to the bleed you get after childbirth (sticky and bright red) and I've had terrible diahorea and pain on my left side and all my pelvic area and hips hurt whenever I move. If I do too much I bleed more. I just don't know what to do. I feel lost, in pain, a failure.

I feel like I should have expected it to happen I'd had pain on my right hand side from 5 weeks an epau scan at 6 weeks confirmed all was fine but I was showing a week behind a second scan at 8 weeks showed me at 7 weeks. I then had one at 9 weeks (private) that showed me at 8 so baby was growing fine before this and on the day of the miscarriage baby was alive. I nEver once had morning sickness which I got with my other 3 terribly.

I feel like my body failed me and the baby

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ForeverHopeful21 · 25/07/2017 17:51

I'm so sorry for what you've been through. Miscarriage is truly awful.

I had an infection after my MC and was put on two lots of antibiotics which caused lots of side effects - I also had the worst diarrhoea and cramps. Taking Imodium and Dioralyte helps.
I bled for about 2 weeks in total - heavy bleeding for 5 days and the rest spotting and light bleeding on and off ...just when I thought it had stopped it would start up again. If you're in a lot of pain though I would speak to 111 or the hospital.

It'll take time to recover so be kind to yourself. Having an infection and losing a lot of blood can really take its toll physically so don't be too hard on yourself (and your body). Four months on from my MC I still think about it every day but I promise it gets better Flowers x

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K0013 · 25/07/2017 22:45

I am so so sorry you are going through this. Please do not feel like a failure, it is not your fault in any way that you have had to go through this. Life can just be so cruel at times. Please take care of yourself and reach out if you need someone to talk to x

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BatmansPrettierSidekick · 26/07/2017 08:53

I'm so sorry for you loss Flowers it's such a traumatic time and very confusing. Look after yourself, grieve and seek medical attention if you feel you need it. Other posters have mentioned buying a rose and planting it to remember your baby which I am going to do.

Your baby is bobbing around in the ocean under the stars now Flowers

I felt a little better as each day passed, I still get upset and cry but trying again doesn't seem so impossible.

Hugs

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vitadolce2015 · 31/07/2017 21:30

I'm so sorry you went through this. It sounds so traumatising. I had an mc two weeks ago and I'm still struggling to believe it happened and that all that joy has been taken away. I have been feeling gradually better though day by day and feel strongly that I will come through this a stronger person and I'm sure you will too.

Let me say this to you - we have NOT failed. It's not our fault that this has happened. It's natures way of telling us that the baby wouldn't have been healthy and would not have had a good life.

I'm sure we'll go on the have healthy babies, hopefully soon.

We'll be ok Flowers we're in it together, don't forget that.

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