Need some advice and support.. miscarriage (sorry for tmi x)

[FlyingFox95]

Hi all

I'm hoping for some advice and reassurance. I'm coping okay generally but I'm stressing about the consequences in work.

To briefly summarise, I had an unusual "period" that started with light brown/pink spotting. A few days later, I had possibly the most painful bleed ever. It was bright red, massive clots and so painful I had to phone in sick saying it was period pain because i didn't know any different at the time.

Two days later, I took a pregnancy test as the period was very short lived and I thought it was implantation. I tested positive and I was over the moon. It was faint but still positive.

Since then I have been exhausted and feeling sick but testing negative so I went to see my GP who said that my heavy bleed was actually me miscarrying before I knew I was pregnant and the positive test was as a result of there still being enough hcg in my system despite it dropping (I used an early response test). I feel strange, it's like I lost something I never really had.

I'm trying my best to cope but my sick day could now result in disciplinary action. Now that my gp has said it was a miscarriage I get it because the pain was different to what i've ever felt. Would i be in a position to inform my work and hope they regard it as a pregnancy-related absence or should I accept the punishment?

I know it seems relatively minor in the grand scheme of things but it's really stressing me and i would love some guidance, if even to make sure I don't make a big mistake :(

xxxxx

I think you absolutely should tell work rather than be disciplined for something you couldn't help. I think 'period pain' sounds like a weak excuse to a lot of people (unfairly, as some women really do have such painful periods that working would be impossible), so I hope that explaining that you were actually having a very early miscarriage (that's the way I'd put it) might make them more sympathetic.

As for the feelings - you're allowed to feel sad about it if that's how you feel. I've had three very early miscarriages (two at five weeks, one at seven) and of course it's not the same as a later loss, but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to react and feel upset about it. If it feels like a loss to you then that's what it is. On the other hand, if you feel strange because you don't feel that sad that's ok too - you get to feel however you feel about what happened.

Hey, I'm sorry for your loss.
I also had an early miscarriage about 5 weeks and it's now 4 weeks later. I am anxiously waiting for my period. Lots of mixed emotions which is apparently very normal.
I would definitely tell your work. It is a genuine reason. My work were really amazing about it all and that helped a lot.
All the best x

So sorry FlyingFox
I had one like this too. It was a horrible lonely time afterwards because I didn't tell anyone at first.

Absolutely tell work. It's pregnancy related absence. You don't miscarry unless you are pregnant and they shouldn't count it.