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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Probably miscarrying - feeling very bleak:(

30 replies

alittlebitshy · 24/03/2007 16:40

I am (was?) 5+2. Woke this morning to blood and it has continued throughout the day. Quite crampy, and a lot of discomfort on one side but not "pain" as i'd see it.
We called NHS direct first thing and they were lovely - saying that if it gets any worse in any way to call out of hours gp, and if it just continues as it is go to drs on mon and see about an early scan. does this seem right? I think so but feeling irrational so just checking.

I was just a bit disappointed at first, but now I am so so sad. I keep crying and i feel as if life is bleak. It's not - i have a gorgeous 3.10 yr old dd and we will keep ttc but i so so wanted this baby - it had happened at exactly the point I wanted it to (there would have been 4.5 years exactly between dd and that baby) AND it happened very quickly (been ttc 4 months, and it is only 5 months since i came off depo)

The plus side is i know i am fertile again after depo, but i keep wondering if depo caused this (unlikely i know, but as i say i am irrational), and whereas i just thought that cos i had a had an easy (ie no bleeds or pain) Pg with dd it would be the same, now i am toruting myself with the thought that this will keep on happening and maybe i should just stop ttc.

bleurgh.

thanks for reading.

dd and dh have gone to a party (school friend of dd) - i was meant to go, but am terrified i'll cry or something, plus i feel a bit rough. My mum came up when we told her in case we end up needing to go the out of hours gp or anything....

I am right not to see anyone right now (as in medical, not just shutting self off from world (although that is tempting)), aren't i??

OP posts:
chirpygirl · 24/03/2007 16:49

Oh poor you. Not quite sure what to say but huge hugs and sympathy from me.
I don't know about the medical side, although I am sure if you did go no-one would say you shouldn't have. However, I do think they are right in saying to wait unless it gets very painful as there is not much anyone can do to help, and being at home would probably be a lot more comforting for you.

On another note, I was on depo for years and had my DD afterwards so of course it wasn't that, don't blame yourself for this.

Elasticwoman · 24/03/2007 16:52

Sorry you're going through this, Alittleb.

Yes, I agree you probably don't need medical attention at the moment, from what you've said. Be careful whom you tell about this in the real world, because I once had a miscarriage at 6 weeks and told a friend who turned up unannounced, feeling I had to explain why I was lying on the sofa, and she told me that it wasn't a good time for me to have a baby, bad for my career etc etc. Like you, I did want the baby. And I didn't give a monkey's about my career.

Do not worry about implications for future pg. There is still a chance that this one will hold, and if not, there is no reason why you won't get pg again v soon. I believe as many as 30% of all pgs end in miscarriage. It doesn't seem that high because not every one knows or tells any one about their pg until later, often 12 weeks.
Would you have known you were pg without taking a test?

Original poster
alittlebitshy · 24/03/2007 17:05

hmmm..... no apart from lack of period i would not have know i was pg without the test.
Was i stupid for testing ?(i waited til 5 days after i was due). i could have avoided this heartache (lol but not the tummy ache )

OP posts:
karma · 24/03/2007 19:01

Hi alittlebitshy,
Just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear your news. I miscarried at 5 weeks about a month ago, and it is so horrible. My Gp did send me to the EPU at our local hospital, but all they did was another pregnancy test which by then was negative. Nature took its course (pain and bleeding for a few days), and I have just had my first period since. Might be worth seeing Gp on Monday, and certainly if you start feeling unwell, temperature, etc.
I felt exactly as you are and although it still is painful thinking about it, it does get easier. With time you will be able to focus on the positives you have in your life, but for now cry loads and don't be too hard on yourself.
I took great comfort from my other children, and this helped enormously, but it is still hard at times, especially when the world and his wife seem to be pregnant at the moment.
Thinking of you, take care.

StrangeTown · 24/03/2007 19:05

Oh a littlebitshy, I'm so sorry.
I case of needing medical attention, I think you just need to see what happens next and listen to your body.
If you are in too much pain, then yes, contact out of hours service. TMI too, sorry, but do watch how much blood you are losing and how quickly.
It is probably best to see your GP next week to check if anything else does need doing, may have a blood test for example to monitor hormone levels.
Best wishes - I'm so sorry.
STx

FrannyandZooey · 24/03/2007 19:05

I am very very sorry to hear this alittlebitshy.

Really hoping for you

nh101 · 24/03/2007 21:31

Hi alittlebitshy, so sorry to hear your news, I had mc this week too and I am so sad. You weren't silly to do a test, of course not. You will always remember your baby and feel sad for your loss, but I am sure you will take great comfort in your other child and will be PG again soon.

I got PG the first month after coming off the pill and I wonder whether not letting myself have a period was the reason why I mc but you just don't know so don't beat yourself up about it. For some reason your PG was meant to happen, and for some reason it didn't work out. Let yourself grieve and don't let anyone make you feel like it's not a big deal.

Fingers crossed that you will have good news in a few months. i think March is a nice time to have a baby so I am aiming for that now!

There are four of us supporting each other on a thread here

Come join us if you want to. Big hugs to you xxx

lulumama · 24/03/2007 21:32

ALBS and NH ...very sorry to hear that you have had such sad news

nh101 · 24/03/2007 21:33

sorry try this

nh101 · 24/03/2007 21:34

Thanks Lulu, sorry I won't be coming to your antenatal day at Ormskirk now but I am sure I will be back soon.

lulumama · 24/03/2007 21:44

bless you NH...i hope that things will be better for you next time.....xxxxxxx

Bubble99 · 24/03/2007 21:49

I'm so sorry to hear this, ALBS.

Is this fresh blood (bright red,) or old blood (dark brown?)

Original poster
alittlebitshy · 25/03/2007 10:55

deffo fresh blood

OP posts:
Elasticwoman · 26/03/2007 09:58

How are you today, Alittlebitshy?

Original poster
alittlebitshy · 26/03/2007 13:55

hi -
we went to a and e last night (sounds more dramatic than it is). tried out of hours gp and he was useless and sent us to a and e. they were pretty good and got gynae dr down.

done bloods. going back for more tmrrow (hcg checking) and an early scan

the one good thing is that my cervix is closed.

i have to assume the worst though cos hope isn't actually very nice when you know that it will prob be The End iyswim.

OP posts:
nh101 · 26/03/2007 18:56

It doesn't have to be the end. Keep you spirits up. Don't try to 'prepare yourself' because you can't. Really thinking of you and hoping everything works out. xxxx

lulumama · 26/03/2007 18:57

ALBS..will be thinking of you ! x

Original poster
alittlebitshy · 26/03/2007 19:05

thanks.

am feeling distinctly more uncomfy in the tummy/side region

bleeding deffo less though. still on first s/t of the day and although it may well have been "nicer" to change it, it's a good gauage of blood flow.

felt a bit better earlier but feeling shitty again.

have run out of tears.

want it all to go away

think am going to go to bed early and read. I might have had a bath, but i like them q warm and surely that is a bad idea iin case there is any hope (ie overheating etc).
sigh.

why me? (god that sounds selfish and wallowing)

OP posts:
Dior · 26/03/2007 19:08

Message withdrawn

berolina · 26/03/2007 19:23

I'm so sorry, ALBS. Mc is crpper than crp. It is a loss and it is fine to feel sad. It will get better, gradually.

I don't know anything about depo, but mc is really very common, a lot more so than we realise until we go through it - this is not to belittle what you're going through at all, I've had 3 mcs and they were horrible - but recurrent mc is relatively rare, and there is always hope - I'm now 15 weeks pg again after 2 consecutive mcs last summer.

If the pg has survived, a warm/hot bath is very unlikely to hurt it at this stage - I had several when I was 4-6 weeks pg this time round (had noticed I was late but too scared to test...). Do what you need to to feel better.

take care xx

lulumama · 26/03/2007 19:25

agree with berolina...a bath has to be over 100 degrees to be potentially harmful..so i think a nice warm bath will do you the world of good x

Daisybump · 26/03/2007 19:38

Alittlebitshy...so sorry about what you are going through . I had two mcs recently...first at ten weeks then second at 5+6 and it was horrible. At least your cervix is still closed which has got to be good sign? There are a lot of ladies on this thread who have been through similar experiences. come over for a chat if you feel the need for some support. This thread got me through some very trying times.

Original poster
alittlebitshy · 27/03/2007 15:43

feel bit too tearful to type it again but i had my scan .

other thread

OP posts:
berolina · 27/03/2007 15:47

I'm so sorry.

Go with the flow of your feelings. Whatever you feel is OK, and you are 'allowed' to grieve.

Mumpbump · 27/03/2007 15:50

Alittlebitshy - so sorry to hear your news... Having had two m/c, I can imagine how you're feeling at the moment. It will ease with time although for me the only thing which has really helped is being pg again. I know it can be emotionally difficult to ttc after a m/c and wish you luck with falling pg again...