19 years old and feeling really depressed after a miscarriage

[delaniejohnson]

Hi everyone. I found out I was pregnant in March, and I had no intentions of keeping the baby. I used contraception and just got unlucky. But after my boyfriend (who I've been with for 4 years) and I went to my OBGYN appointment and heard the heartbeat, we had a change of heart and decided to keep our baby. I was still really nervous about the whole situation because I'm completely financially independent and have no familial support, but we were determined to make it work and start a family.

I miscarried at around 12 weeks, which was around the time I started telling people since we were supposed to be safe by then. It's been 7 weeks since then and every day is worse than before and I don't know how to break out of this depression. There are times when I feel like maybe this was for the best because I'm so young and I have the rest of my life ahead of me to have a family with my boyfriend, but I feel so horrible for thinking that. I was so unhappy and nervous about my pregnancy and then right when I began getting excited about being a mother, I lost the baby. It almost feels like karma.

If anyone has suggestions about what I should do or how I can move past this, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you.

I'm really sorry to read your news, it's such a sad loose for you both. I've not got any advice for you. Is there a helpline that you could phone, have a google and see if you can find one.

Hi x I have been there x I lost my first st around the same time. Oh and I were having problems and I had taken the morning after pill and then found out it hadn't worked. Given the issues i thought about not keeping the baby but when we went to the appointment neither of us wanted to go through with a termination. I found out at our 2 week scan and was utterly heartbroken. I felt it was karma.

It wasn't karma and it isn't for you either. It will take time for you to heal and come to terms with this. It's a big deal. Others will say unhelpful things and it will hurt for a long time but I promise things will get easier x x x

12 week scan not 2 week scan!

@DownUdderer Thank you for your kind words, I haven't thought about that, I'll check it out.

@barkisworsethanmybite I'm sorry you had to go through this too :( It's really relieving to hear that other women have gone through this exact same scenario and ultimately it's gotten better. Thank you so much for your reply.