The waiting game...

[PumbletonWakeshaft]

Had a scan at the EPU today, and trying to come to terms with the outcome. I was 8+1, but have been bleeding since Sunday. At the scan we could see there was an embryo but no heartbeat detected so we have to go back in a week. It's highly likely to be m/c and I am devastated but cannot know for certain so I'm a bit all over the place. How on earth do people cope with the waiting?

How is everyone doing through this horrendous time?
I can't imagine how u would feel having to wait to see if you had miscarried or not pumbleton, your doing the right thing by trying to distract yourself, even though it's easier said than done. So do you still not know if you have miscarried or not?

Anxious, fingers crossed that everything will be ok with your baby. I bet every woman is worried throughout pregnancy. It's so risky.

I had the operation yesterday. I was terrified, and i was in some discomfort all day but today I feel physically well and now that it's all out of my body I feel some closure and starting to think to the future and trying again. I too couldn't have gone through passing it naturally, it would have been too heartbreaking to see. Although there seems to be pregnant people everywhere or babies and it just brings the tears out again. I've cancelled a baby shower, as I just can't face it. It sounds awful but I'm jealous of my friends that's pregnant at the minute, even though I truly wish them a healthy baby.

Thanx for the positive stories. It does give some hope for the future and please for you ladies that have had your rainbow baby xx

Hi there. pumbleton I was on the Feb 18 babies thread too. I was pointed to this board after I posted a miscarriage support thread in 'pregnancy', not kniwing g this board existed.
I'm going through this tooo, and it's so cruel.
On Monday I went for a private early scan. I was exactly 7 weeks. I hadn't had many symptoms but everyone kept telling me I was just 'one of the lucky ones'. I'm a vet nurse and we scan and blood everything at the earliest opportunity (pets get private, gold standard care like people in do in America!). So I couldn't imagine why wouldn't do this for my human pregnancy. hmm
I've also been very anxious because I'm 40, so needed reassurance.
Sadly, the gestational sac measured 4+ weeks, and was empty. The sonographer thought we may have our dates incorrect, but we've not done the deed since our calculated conception date. It was obvious the pregnancy had stopped developing 2.5 weeks ago.
She also found that I have huge fibroids. So large that my uterus looks like I've had multiple pregnancies. It was my first. They've pushed the little sac out of where it should be.
I've been going to the Dr for years about my periods, migraines, anaemia but been fobbed off with blood clotters.
Such a hard pill to swallow, knowing a quick scan could have diagnosed it years ago and my bean may have stuck.
I'm off to the hospital for 2nd bloods to monitor my hcg levels. Obviously I'm expecting then to be dropping. They're also doing another scan tomorrow, to confirm the sad news.

Hi liannie so sorry to hear what you are going through. I suppose the new info could help you move forward, esp if you've had random symptoms for so long. It's still heartbreaking though isn't it. I'm just back from EPU, 2nd scan confirmed the worst, baby stopped developing at 6 weeks . I'm booked in for ERPC first thing tomorrow morning. At least I can start to move on now. It's been the week from hell!

I'm so sorry to see your messages milo, leannie and pumbleton.

I don't think it sounds awful at all to cancel a baby shower milo, you don't need to be around all that. Stay at home and look after yourself. After I miscarried before I noticed pregnant woman everywhere. It will get better

Leannie you poor thing. I really hope the hospital sorts things out, that's not fair that you've just been kept getting fobbed off.

Pumbleton I'm sorry to hear your sad news. I hope you're able to get some closure now and are able to start looking forward. Make sure you have someone with you when you get home tomorrow and have some pain killers ready. The worst of it happens when you're asleep and you just wake up with a heavy period.

I'm so sorry to hear your awful news pumbleton. I've been thinking about you these last few days, hoping someone would have some good news. I believe it's best to have the ERPC soon as possible and you said your in tomorrow for it. I thought it was called a DandC operation unless it's different to what i had. I was in some pain straight after the op, but they gave me painkillers through my canular, which helped massively. I didn't bleed after and have only had light bleed each day, so fingers crossed for you that it goes as well as can be.
Wish I could do some exercise, but read a lot that it's not a good idea for a few weeks other than walking. Just feel fat and ugly and hate all my clothes. Has anyone else done any exercise shortly after the op? Xx

Hi ladies, hope you are able to feel more positive today. I'm out the other side of my ERPC. Procedure was fine, but I had a horrific experience with the pre op nurse who reduced me to tears being totally inappropriate and insensitive. A complaint was made and I was given a private room but it was so unnecessary and I had been feeling fine up to then.

Anyway, feel fine today just having a relax and moving over to the conception board. Hope to see you all there lots of hugs and cake for you all

milo from what I read, d&c doesn't necessarily involve a foetus, erpc always does. I think!
Not sure about exercise. I'm going to wait til Monday to resume dog walking duties, dp will take her out til then, then I'll see how I get on and let you know.

Sorry, when I said foetus I meant embryo

I think it's pretty much the same thing from what I've read. Just wanted to know I was talking about the same thing as everyone.
Yeah fingers crossed we will be talking on the pregnancy forums in the near future.
Sorry to hear the nurse was inappropriate with you pumbleton, I had a similar experience when a nurse starting laughing with a colleague just after they told me my my baby had no heartbeat! It's a joke. I should put a complaint in too.
Hope everyone is feeling a little bit stronger each day. It's so hard to see in to the next hour at first but the pain does ease slightly.
I'm going back to work Monday, which I'm dreading but got to do it sometime xx

Really sorry to hear what you have been through Leanne. It's disgusting how you have been fobbed off like that.
I agree that pregnant women should be treated better when nhs know how common miscarriage is. I don't see why they can't do scans at around 9 weeks rather than making women wait to 12 weeks.
Hope you have someone to comfort you at this heartbreaking time xx

Hi everyone. Sorry It's taken a while to post and reply. Sometimes it helps to talk, and other times its just too hard.
Pumble best get well wishes to you, from your ERPC. I hope you're not too sore, and you can maybe start moving towards some sort of closure. Cake and wine are going to be my friends.
Thank you Milo for all nice, supportive posts you write, whilst going through this yourself. They really are helpful and comforting. I'm sure others feel this too.
Do you both have people looking after you?

It's been a bit of a roller coaster for my partner and me. I saw a GP on Monday, who was WONDERFUL. She advised we monitor my blood hcg every 48h. I went to the hospital Thursday for a second hcg blood test and a more thorough scan. The sac had grown a little but all much the same. My hcg however, had more than doubled. Cutting a long story short a Dr got a consultant involved and he used the word 'mystified' as to why I should be having signs of such a strong pregnancy. He said a living ectopic twin could be a strong poss and wanted to admit me as it can get so serious, so quickly. Eventually I was allowed home, as long as i had someone with me, and been back for more scans and bloods since. Today the hcg has actually started dropping a little, and they've never found anything on the scans.
I'm back Monday for more if the same, but it does look like it'll be over soon.
I've been offered a procedure to suction it all out under GA, which im advised is more gentle than curretage. It's been ever so tough. Especially seeing pregnant girls at the hospital smoking, and one lady with needle marks up her arms. I'm not usually a judgemental person but It all just feels terribly unfair, when I've been on all the vitamins, organic food and cosmetics for months. I so tried to do my best by this little one.

I too saw a heavily pregnant woman smoking today and it made my blood boil. So I totally know how u feel. It's hard seeing pregnant women and babies everywhere.
Hope the procedure goes as good as it can do Leannie.
Yeah I've had my husband by my side every step of the way. I don't think I'd be this strong now it it wasn't for him xx

Yes *Milo, tgats just how i feel too. And an overwhelming sense if doubt when i see new birns...will it happen...won't it. People keep telling me it will, but at my ages tge facts sre its mych garder and tine is running out.
How are you all getting on? They found a cyst like structure on my ovary and have to be cautious is not an ectopic twin. They wondered this last week then changed their minds. They've put of surgery until Friday at the earliest now.