2nd mc and afraid to try again without further testing

[Mv0707]

Hi ladies, last week I had a reassurance scan and was told the baby didn't pass the 5th week while the rest of my body was in sync with 8w5d. I went for this private scan because back in march I had an early miscarriage at 5w when I started bleeding and all went naturally. I rang the NHS in tears after I got the scan report and the nurse told me I have to wait one more week to go the early pregnancy unit and only then they will tell me my options. Although, I'm devastated and I'm dreading what's going to happen now, I'm more concerned about starting over again a third time without further tests and medical support. I know the NHS only consider to do this after 3 recurrent mc (I'm 33 years old) but I don't think I'm strong enough to start all over again without medical advice or trying to check the reasons of the losses. Have any of you gone through the same? Have you requested additional support? Have you tried private help? I'm really confused and scared. Many thanks in advance.

I had 2 mc.

No testing.

I looked up lots of research and took various vitamins and baby aspirin every day for third pg.

Could well be coincidence, or placebo but have 7 mo DS now.

Thanks for your response @albusPercival. Did you take baby aspirin on your own or your GP recommend it?

On my own. GP was no help.

Once I saw midwife and consultant though they said to continue it

Thanks for your response @albusPercival. I can't understand why they need to wait for a third loss to offer help. It might be just a number for the rest of the world but it means everything to each of us.

I'm so sorry for your losses
You could approach your gp and ask about testing for clotting and thyroid issues - both easy to test and any thyroid issues would need treating regardless of you trying for a baby. I had 3 mc before diagnosis of thyroid and now 36wks pg. Good luck x

I had a good gp and found her much more supportive than the mc clinic I was eventually referred to.

I know OP it's rubbish but statistically the majority of women who have 2 mc will have a healthy baby next time without any intervention so on a population level they are targeting resources

Also - if you're over 35 some places will refer you after 2 mcs.

@CrowOnTheBroom, I'm so happy for you. All the best wishes for your pregnancy :)

Thanks for sharing the information. I doubt the NHS will want to perform any tests yet because it's "only" the second MC and I'm 33. At least that's what they told me with my first lost. Maybe I'm being really negative due to the circumstances. As you suggest, I will try to push for the basic tests but if they push back, I will seriously consider to seek private help. Maybe they won't give me any answer but at this stage I'm looking for some peace of mind.

I have had 4 recurrent miscarriages. The 4th while waiting for blood test results as I got pregnant inbetween. Still waiting and i don't know the reason for my miscarriages. When I told them I was pregnant again they prescribed me a high dose folic acid and baby aspirin which I think you can get without prescription. They also gave me progesterone which you'd need a prescription for. These were just as a precortion as, like I said, have no results just a bad history. They didn't work for me but obviously do for some.

Although they may find a reason for your miscarriages and be able to do something to help you, in a lot of cases they won't. It is often just really bad luck and there won't be anything they can prescribe for you. There's also a theory that some women are super fertile and as a result will naturally have more miscarriages because their bodies are not seective enough about what to implant. It was for those reasons that we decided to just try again. I have a really open family who have talked about miscarriages to me. Lots of women in my family have had more than one and went on to have other children so i guess knowing that gave me reasurrance. I also have an older DS so knew i was capable of carrying full term which obviously helps.

You're in a difficult situation and i understand you want all the help and reassurance you can get. I think In your situation id want that earlier scan for peace of mind so you could go private for just that. I just wanted to make you aware that medical intervention won't necessarily provide answers that you want and you need to bear that in mind when you decide how to go forward.

TTC and first trimester can be a horrible time if you are worried about miscarrying and if you think that just having that medical person in the background to call for advice will really help then go for private, it just wasn't for me. The NHS won't provide anymore than with a normal pregnancy at this stage. Try to see this as a positive though. They won't invest more money in you because statistically you are likely to have a healthy pregnancy after 2 miscarriages. It will end up costing them more if your fears are right and you do have complications. They have more faith than you do! But i know how hard it is to be positive after a miscarriage.

In the end it's your decision. Do what feels right for you.

I hope some of that helps.

I had two miscarriages, 8 weeks and 6 weeks, and then has my son. And have since had my daughter. No idea why the miscarriages happened. The reason why they don't test after 2 is that statistically most people who have 2 don't have a proper reason for it, & do go on to have healthy babies, as I did. The chances are that you will, too. It's so hard though. You poor thing.

I would recommend reading It Starts With The Egg. I know how hard it is, for you.

Mv070707 It's hard not to be negative, after my third mc I was heartbroken. It was a horrible time.
You've had some good advice - I'd second It Starts With the Egg as a useful read - so if you feel up to it start asking about tests. I know how awful it is and I really hope it works out for you xxx

Thanks for sharing your story @user1497802451. I'm really sorry about your losses. I struggle with this pain and the uncertainty. No one said that it would be easy but wow! I never thought to experience this.

I know I've been selfish too because others have had it worse and I can not imagine all the pain. It makes me so sad. I guess I still want to believe in the statistics and trust on what the NHS has to say but it's really easier said than done, at least for me. I'm not patient and I plan almost everything I do (which it's the biggest irony right now). I guess I just need to feel that I can do more than just wait and see.

Thanks again for your kind words and for giving me hope.

I wish you all the best and that soon you can have your precious rainbow baby.

Thanks for sharing your story and your kind words @HumpHumpWhale. It really gives me hope in this dark moment.

Thanks for the recommendations and your words @MsJuniper and @CrowOnTheBroom I've been searching for answers, tests and medical support but I completely forgot about available literature.

Thanks again and all my best wishes for both of you.

You've not been selfish! And you can't say someones experience has been easier or harder. Loss is awful however many times it happens. Ive actually found the hardest thing is my life not mapping out as I'd planned. I like planning too! I wanted a 2 year age gap after my first. Didn't expect this but I've come to accept it. Hope you found some things on here helpful.

MMC in May 16 (embryo didn't make it past 6 weeks, found out at 13 week scan). Then mc at 6 weeks in August 16. Currently 38 weeks, all going well.

It's really hard to stay calm about it - I have had many wobbles! - but two mc is more likely to be bad luck than anything more sinister. Good luck.