Hi all,
I am so sorry for what you're all going through/have been through. Life is so bloody unfair sometimes, but we're not alone in this (even though it often feels like it) because there are women everywhere going through this silently all the time. I'm sure there are people in all our lives who've had miscarriages without us even knowing, because they've gone on to have healthy pregnancies and just want to focus on that instead. A friend of mine about to have her first baby recently told me she'd had a couple of miscarriages before her successful pregnancy, but she'd never told me at the time. She just said she hadn't wanted to dwell on it or make it a 'thing'. Made me wonder how many other friends with children have been through it, but just never told anyone besides their partner.
I'm going through a miscarriage at the moment and, despite having worried about it because we all know the 1 in 5 stat, was completely unprepared for it happening to me. I never realised how lonely it would feel, how unhelpful certain medical professionals can be and how much pain and mess there is - and how long it can all take.
After a devastating scan, I was just sent home by the EPU and told to 'wait for things to start happening, but to call A&E if the blood loss is dramatic. Great. I wasn't offered medical or surgical management and now think I might prefer that - I just want the process to be over so I can come to terms with it and start moving on.
I suppose I don't really have anything to say beyond my sincerest condolences, and just that we're not alone and shouldn't let this make us think we won't have a healthy pregnancy and baby as soon as we're ready to start trying again. I do know at least 10 people (colleagues, friends, family) who've been open about miscarrying and have all gone on to have healthy babies.
As others have said, if there's no medical reason for the MC, it's likely to be completely random and no reason to think it will reoccur. If there is a reason, hopefully it can be treated.
FYI, I see an amazing private GP whenever I need a really kind and sensible take on things. Costs an arm and a leg so I rarely do make an appointment, but I did in this case and he was amazing. He said the MC was likely to be totally random, but did say he can check my progesterone levels (simple blood test) because there's a lot of evidence to suggest that giving women with low progesterone supplements before they next become pregnant, and I think during the first trimester, can prevent miscarriage (although obviously only if low progesterone levels are detected). It's quite a common reason for pregnancy loss, and there's something you can do about it, so might be worth asking your GPs to check your levels, for peace of mind if nothing else.
Much love and warm wishes to all. Xx