Sometimes it all feels so bloody unfair

[keeponrunning85]

Tried to pass some time flicking through crappy magazines whilst stuck in the airport waiting for a delayed flight. Came across an article about a woman who was 50 stone!!!!! and managed to get pregnant. I mean, what the actual fuck! She lost 14 stone in the first 10 weeks. I don't even weigh anywhere near 14 stone! I exercise regularly. I don't smoke. Yes I'll admit to being partial to more alcohol than recommended but TTC/recurrent miscarriage is shit. I need gin/wine/beer from time to time.

Has anyone else ever wondered if living off maccy ds, smoking and taking class A drugs is the way to a rainbow baby?!

All the bloody time. Life is so unfair. I have eaten carefully, taken about 5 million quids worth of "trying for a baby" vitamins, read all the books, done my research, given up alcohol. Purchased sperm vitamins for my husband, paid private for sperm analysis, even had a scan myself to check all was in working order.

Never mind! Wish I hadn't bothered! I miscarried at 9 weeks, twin pregnancy. Sigh!

Life is extemely unfair, i sometimes wonder if living off maccy ds, smoking and doing drugs is the way forwards, seems to work for lots of people!

Been TTC for 4 years, no smoking, no drinking, healthy, me and dh take a cocktail of vitamins, had 2 rounds of ivf/icsi; first one failed, second one worked but at 7 week scan discovered i had had a missed miscarriage. Had a procedure to complete the miscarriage but found out friday that it didnt work so booked in for D and C tuesday. Started bleeding last night and passing clots, scan monday to see if ive miscarried all of it naturally.

It sucks that after all that we still have nothing to show for it and are back to square one! Life sucks x

So sorry you're both in this shitty situation too.

Today marks 2 years since I got my first BFP. It is now over 2 and a half years since we first started TTC. 6 weeks since miscarriage number 4 and 2 weeks since I went back on the pill. I feel further away than ever from having my own family.

It is fair to say I am feeling rather melancholy today.

I think you have every right to be feeling melancholy keep, i am so sorry for your losses, 4 miscarriages that must have been awful.

This one has been my first loss and its been horrendous, i cant imagine having to go through it multiple times.

Have you had investigations as to why it keeps happening? X

Hope I really hope you don't have to go through multiple losses too.

Tests on the third pregnancy showed that one was due to a chromosomal problem so we were told it was just bad luck and off you go, keep trying, fingers crossed next time. The first and second we'll never know. I also have a uterine septum. The Consultant hasn't wanted to do any surgery on it so far. I'm waiting for my appointment to go back for the results on the testing of the fourth pregnancy.

I can't face trying again with nothing being different and realistically I think I've only got one more go in me. So if surgery isn't going to be offered on the NHS I think I'll pay to have it done privately so at least I'll feel like I've given it my best shot.

I hope your appointment comes through quickly keep and that you get some answers this time.

Surely it is only fair that you are offered surgery for your uterine septum on the NHS , the NHS fund so many other things.

I can understand where your coming from with not trying again without something being different, it is a different situation to yours i know but each time we do a new round of IVF i feel we need to try something different, new approach, different tactic in the hope that it works.

Hi there. I just wanted to pop in and say although I didn't get as far as IVF, I had 4 mcs (14,11,7 & 6 wks) over a 4 year period while all my friends just looked stv their husbands and popped babies out left, right and centre. I thought just like you guys and would probably have joined your thread but it did all come to an end for me, finally, and my gorgeous nearly 12 yr old son is currently brushing his teeth and getting his pjs on. I then had a dd, I had another mc after her and then was fortunate to have another ds. I hope you don't mind me saying all of this. I know how hard it is to hear "it will happen one day" when you just want to scream no it fucking won't!!! And this can be true, I know, but it truly honestly happened for me the one month that year when I thought ach if I don't get my bfp this month that will be fine as we had a really close friends wedding to go to and then Christmas.....wham! Bfp. All eyes on me at the wedding, why you not drinking Bramblina?! So although it's hard, try to forget it once in a while. Book a Caribbean holiday and pay a hugecdeposit- that worked for my best mate
Sending love. I HTH as that's all it was meant to do xx

Sorry, I wrote that at 9.30pm and didn't post it....ds has been in bed for some time

Thank you for your message bramblina. I do find it helpful to hear from those who it ended well for.

I guess part of the problem is that no one can tell you just how many MCs you'll have to go through before it comes good. And I'm not sure I'm prepared to go through as many as some people would.

But you're right, sometimes you do just want to tell people to fuck off! Even though you know they're only trying to be helpful. One of my good friends said to me last week that it isn't how you get your children that's important, it is how your raise them that is. Easy for her to say when she's got her lovely 14 month old DS who was conceived in less than 6 months!

Oh god keepon, I absolutely agree. People just don't understand. And it's hard when you feel anger towards that because it's not their fault either...I'm sorry that this is you right now, it's just an open ended book and I absolutely agree, when you just don't know if this will be your last mc, or there could be another 3 to go.....I understand.

I had 4 in a row and as hard as they were, and obvs the gestation reduced so therefore less traumatic...but I actually found them easier to deal with. If I thought about it too much then I did think, that will be another 3 mth at least now before I could even imagine I might conceive so that part was harder, but the actual experience, well, I got very used to them. It became normal, in a way.

So don't give up- there's nothing to gain from that but you more than likely will get your bfp one day.

I think it's the rage I find hard to deal with.
Like most people who have posted, I ate the right things, vitamins, exercise, doctors, I don't drink or smoke anyway but I even kept away from people who were smoking, I'm a healthy 25 year old. Didn't stop my ectopic in January and my miscarriage last month, I accept these things happen even if I'm devastated at the same time.

As I was leaving the hospital last time(lots of blood loss) and was waiting for my ride home, heavily pregnant woman comes out of the maternity hospital (I know it's convenient to have gynae stuff in the same building but it's a real heart wrencher being sat alongside pregnant women for a scan to see if my baby has passed yet).
She lights up a cigarette and is puffing away next to me...
I nearly grabbed the damn thing and shoved it down her throat, how can you have so little regard for your unborn child when there people like us who are literally willing to do anything to get that far.

You are right frosty the rage is hard to deal with, particularly when we have tried everything to get our longed for babies only to be faced with people smoking their way through pregnancy without a care in the world.

Someone i used to work with smoked heavily throughout 3 pregnancies, she said she couldnt give up and wanted to have small babies as she was only small and didnt want a hard labour. She had 3 easy pregnancies and 3 healthy babies, all in the time it has taken me to do 2 rounds of ivf and have a miscarriage.
Just makes you want to scream, shout, cry and possibly beat someone!!