Ever feel like you're losing your marbles?

[keeponrunning85]

I had my fourth MC 5 weeks ago. DH and I both agreed we couldn't face jumping straight back into TTC with nothing being any different. The third was due to a chromosomal problem so we were discharged from RMC with the advice that it was just bad luck, fingers crossed next time.

Took myself to the GP last week to get the pill, obviously desperately hoping I wouldn't need it as we did a bit of not trying not preventing whilst waiting for it. AF turned up bang on 4 weeks after the MC so I started taking it again.

I think my brain is so tuned into the endless wondering of am I/aren't I that I STILL can't stop myself wondering. Even though I've had AF. But it did only last a day and a half.

Sorry for the rambling post, but yes, I feel like I'm losing my marbles.

Yes. All the time. I'm currently almost certainly losing a third pregnancy at a bit over five weeks and I feel so, so crazy. I sometimes wonder whether I've made the whole thing up - whether these pregnancies are all in my head and so that's why the bleeding always comes. I feel crazy for being sad when, as more than one person has told me, 'most women would just have thought it was a heavy period'. I feel crazily jealous of people who get to feel happy rather than terrified when they see a positive pregnancy test. Sometimes I feel so jealous that it makes me worry that I'm not just a crazy person but a bad one. I feel like it's crazy not to keep trying for something I want so much and also crazy to keep letting myself get so upset over again.

But I'm not crazy, and nor are you. You're someone who's been through and is going through a series of horrible, traumatic experiences and who is completely unsurprisingly finding that that's dominating her thoughts. I'm so sorry for what you've been through and I hope you're able to find a calmer place soon.

Oh ladies, I could have written both your posts, with those feelings of craziness!

Keeponrunning, we had our 5th miscarriage in Feb - had a couple of months off trying and completely agree, after two years of either being pregnant or miscarrying, it felt very strange to not be trying.

Some days I feel completely crazy and other days I feel like the old me. I question myself a lot more than I ever have done and I am certain it's because I feel I have lost some control over myself- because this keeps on happening.

Nothing anyone can say to change it, but know you're not alone and as Lisa said, you're just going through a horrible, traumatic time.

if it is a tough day, I tell myself, I am strong and I can do this and try to keep my chin up.

You are definitely not going mad. I hope you get some happiness soon x

Thank you for your kind replies ladies. I'm so sorry for your losses.

Starshine I am hoping that with this break I might be able to feel a bit more like my old self some of the time. It is 2 and a half years since we started TTC and I think it'll do us some good to have a few months off. Also, i just can't face another pregnancy with nothing being different.