Second tfmr in 6 months, feeling desperately sas

[Happenedagain2017]

Hello. I posted in antenatal tests but thought i'd try here too. After a terrible scan yesterday I am facing my second tfmr in six months. I am feeling utterly devastated and just don't know how I'm going to get through the next days and weeks. I am so lucky to have two dc but was desperate for a third. I am 44 so think I have reached the end of the road. My eggs just don't seem reliable! Anyone been here? How did you 'recover'?

I'm really sorry your going through this especially for the 2nd time so soon. I don't have anything useful to add but wanted to let you know someone cared

Hopefully someone will be along with soon who can be more helpful

I'm not quite in the same position, but I'm 43 and had a mmc at Christmas, then conceived again six weeks after my ERPC. Unfortunately, despite some positive early scans, we found out at our dating scan that our baby was unwell. An attempt at a cvs failed, but various anomalies on another scan strongly suggested Edwards or Patau. After a horrible couple of weeks we decided to tfmr instead of waiting for an amnio, but our baby's hb stopped in the meantime. Had a second ERPC on Thursday.

I really thought this one was going to be ok. I've been pregnant 5x and have one child to show for it. Desperate to give her a sibling, but having to face the fact that at my age it just may not happen.

TBH I just feel numb at the moment, and relieved that we didn't have to make the decision ourselves in the end. My heart aches for you, it's so horribly unfair.

Thank you both for replying and greedyduck I am so so sorry. My previous pregnancy had patau and this one downs. Can't decide whether I've been horribly unlucky or just foolhardy to even think this could work. I am heartbroken, it's awful isn't it. People are kind but ... it's lonely. Will you try again or is it too early to say? I am still suffering awful sickness making it seem even harder to cope! Can't even stomach a nice glass of wine!!

Thanks Happened it is pretty lonely yes. Because our last mc was so recent we had told very few people.

43 suddenly feels ridiculously old to have another successful pregnancy. I think I was a bit arrogant to think I had special age defying eggs. The fact that I seem to conceive pretty easily still is of no comfort. But then it only needs one good egg. I do think you've been spectacularly unlucky.

I think we will have another shot at it, but I know we are right up against it timewise, and I am terrified of this happening again. Until now, I thought the worst thing you could be told at a scan was 'I'm sorry but I can't find a heartbeat'. My first trimester anxiety levels are already pretty awful, and I dread to think how I would get through it again.

I am going to try and concentrate on other things for a few months, need to improve my running as I want to run a marathon next year. I think that will be a healthier goal for me than ttc, and if I happen to conceive in the meantime then great.

I am back on the gin, but desperately need to shift the half stone I've gained from comfort eating since my dating scan.

If you want to have a vent or a rant about how shit it all is, please feel free to dm me.

Fortunately we only told family in the main and very close friends. I feel exactly the same about the egg situ. I knew the risks but even at my/our age they are not that high as a percentage. I don't know whether patau then downs suggests my eggs are fundamentally compromised or whether I just won the shit lottery. At the moment I feel like I can't bear to try again but can't bear not to either. It took a few months for my period to appear last time anyway. Impressed by your fitness plan!