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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Think this is a miscarriage, can anyone advise about working?

17 replies

ravenAK · 01/03/2007 11:14

I should be 7 1/2 weeks. Began bleeding lightly on Monday, & a transvaginal scan yesterday showed a 5-6 week ovum.

It's just possible my dates are wrong, but I think it's more likely that this pregnancy isn't going to work out

Basically what I want to know is: should I go back to work tomorrow? I took yesterday off for the scan, & today off because tbh I was expecting a miscarriage proper to kick in. Still hasn't - still bleeding less than an ordinary period, so perfectly physically fit for work & not doing myself any good sitting on the pc crying into a cuppa...otoh don't fancy suddenly collapsing in front of a class of 30 teenagers. (I'm a secondary teacher).

Really need to make a decision before 2pm so I can let school know.

OP posts:

TheBlonde · 01/03/2007 11:15

I'd stay off sick if I was you

trace2 · 01/03/2007 11:16

are you going back for another scan?

DimpledThighs · 01/03/2007 11:17

what do you feel like doing?

I would stay at home if it was me - concerntrate on yourself etc.

KezzaG · 01/03/2007 11:19

Sorry to hear your news. Its a touigh decision because if you do go on mc you dont know how long it might take. I have had 2, first one at 6 weeks was like a period with very small clots and I would definately have been able to work through it. Second one was at 8 weeks and after a week of bleeding I passed some very large clots )sorry tmi) and spent most of the day on the toilet. It is abolustely not something I would want to happen anywhere but at home, and it was only by luck that I was at home at the time.

If you can I would stay off sick just in case.

Original poster

ravenAK · 01/03/2007 11:19

Yes, but not till the 12th!

So in theory I could still not know for definite till then. In which case I'm honestly better off at work taking my mind off it all.

Previous 2 pregnancies uneventful, so this is all new to me & I just don't know what I should be doing...

OP posts:

pinkranger · 01/03/2007 11:19

i stayed off sick for 4 shifts when i has my m/c, first 2 was day of ERPC and the day after but the next week i just needed some time.

Hope you are o.k

Original poster

ravenAK · 01/03/2007 11:22

That's my main concern KezzaG - suddenly losing a lot of blood/tissue in the middle of taking a class...

What's an ERPC?

OP posts:

DimpledThighs · 01/03/2007 11:24

I am sorry about your loss (didn't say that before) I do think you should stay at home. You will feel much better and the idea of having to present a happy teaching front just seems too much at this point.

(ERPC =evacuation of retained products of conception)

KezzaG · 01/03/2007 11:25

the thing is you just dont know if that is going to happen. If you feel you would benefit from taking your mind off things maybe you could go to work but wear some heavy duty sanitary towels and just see what happens. If the worst does happen you will feel it and may just have to make a dash for it. What a horrible situation to be in, I feel for you.

ERPC is Evacuation of Retained Products of Conception (basically a D&C)

Original poster

ravenAK · 01/03/2007 11:28

Thanks dimpledthighs - I think I might take tomorrow off & see what happens over the weekend.

I just wish I knew for sure. The idea of still torturing myself with hope till a week Monday is rather doing my head in.

OP posts:

Ali5 · 01/03/2007 11:33

Stay off. Suspected my p/g wasn't going well on a Sunday - saw emergency gp. m/c wasn't confirmed til later in the week and I didn't go to work (I'm a primary teacher) and glad I didn't as my emotions were all over the place and I didn't know what my body was going to do. Not as if you can nip to the loo or switch off for 10 minutes in this job. Is there someone you can go and see, or get them to come over?
Hope you're ok.

Original poster

ravenAK · 01/03/2007 11:39

Thanks Ali5.

I'm not feeling happy about staying off, because physically I'm perfectly OK (so far) & I think I'd be better emotionally at work, getting on with things, than at home moping - it's the feeling of everything being 'on hold' that I'm finding hardest to deal with.

But I think it might be most sensible if I give it till the weekend & take stock then.

OP posts:

YummyMummy34 · 01/03/2007 13:20

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I had a similar experience and was signed off by my GP with a 'threatened miscarriage' - basically any blood loss in early pregnancy he treats as this until the bleeding settles down (or a mc happens which is what happened in my case).

The waiting, not knowing, wondering is the hardest thing and although you feel physically OK, your emotions can be all over the place and I would think teaching teenagers you'll need all your wits about you!

Hope things work out for you - in the meantime, feet up! Take care.

Original poster

ravenAK · 01/03/2007 13:46

Well, spoken to the midwife.

She knows me fairly well, having seen me for pregnancy 2 last year, & knows I'm better kept busy when I'm worried.

(She kept trying to admit me to hospital as my bp soared & I kept insisting on being monitored at home - in the end she ordered me to bed & told dh to put me under house arrest).

I've got her to agree that I'd be LESS stressed getting on with my life, so I'm going in to work tomorrow.

I have to say that this is a far grimmer situation to be in than I'd ever envisaged - I thought you just suddenly had a m/c & it was very sad & that was it.

I'm finding it quite humbling to think off the grief & stress some people must go through with repeated m/cs. I'm off now to kiss dd & count my blessings.

OP posts:

KezzaG · 01/03/2007 13:51

Oh raven I feel very for you. you are right, it is worse than you realise and you cant appreciate the emotions and physical symptons until you have been there. I hope work goes ok and whatever happens happens with as little fuss and pain as possible.

Original poster

ravenAK · 04/03/2007 21:15

Finally miscarried today - at least I assume so. Heavy bleeding & lots of clots.

Overwhelming feeling of relief. I'd accepted it was going to happen & wanted it over with without waiting another week for medical intervention.

Thought I'd come to terms with it, but still ambushed by lots of crying - I have an incredibly vivid image of a dark haired little boy, the image of his sister but with his brother's grin...

I did work on Friday & it was probably a mistake - you know you're not fit when teenage boys collar you in the corridors to tell you you're 'all grey, miss'.

Not sure if I'm going in tomorrow.

OP posts:

ash6605 · 04/03/2007 22:47

Can't give a lot of advice but wanted you to know that i'm thinking of you.i wouldn't go into work tommorow if i was you,i've been where you are now and it's bad enough without the extra stress of work.give yourself time-not just physically,you need time to grieve for your loss and for your hormones to settle down.are you going to ring your doctor tommorow to see if they can confirm things for you?

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