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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Just found out no heartbeat...

38 replies

user1480930113 · 02/02/2017 17:57

After some advice please. Found out today I've had a miscarriage at my 12 work scan. Confirmed no heartbeat probably around 10 weeks. I've had no bleeding atall and I am in shock. They talked me though my options and I really don't think i want the tablet option and would prefer surgery. Just don't fancy seeing anything unpleasant or go through the pain. Can anyone advise? Sorry jumbled post I'm very sad but now just feel like I want it out of me x

OP posts:

Floggingmolly · 03/02/2017 12:43

💐. Look after yourself.

Original poster

user1480930113 · 03/02/2017 13:05

Thank you all so much for your kind words. I have plenty of support but it's nice to talk to people who have gone through this

OP posts:

tigertorch · 03/02/2017 13:51

I'm so sorry OP. It's such a shock.

I went for the surgical option, also at 12 weeks after MMC at 10wks. Recovering from the GA took several days but otherwise recovery was smooth. I was glad to have the process over under GA. It really wasn't painful afterwards but, honestly, I was all over the place and am not sure that I could have worked for several days.

I met with the hospital chaplain before the op. We talked about the pregnancy and she said a prayer. I found that helpful to look back on in the weeks that followed.

for you. Please be kind to yourself and take it as easy as possible.

Danglybits · 03/02/2017 19:45

I had an ERPC on Tuesday. I'm still getting some severe pains today, 3 days on, though it's manageable with ibuprofen.

Bear in mind that you're not allowed to drive for 48 hours after GA. My hospital also banned cooking and ironing, and signing any important docs...

The process itself was very smooth and the hospital staff were very kind. I had a natural MC a couple of years ago and it was much more traumatic.

The doc here said that it might take me weeks to miscarry as I wasn't even bleeding. So I don't think you need to worry about it happening before the op.

for you. I'm sorry.

Melworldwide · 04/02/2017 11:18

So sorry for your loss 😔
I'm going through this too right now and finding comfort in all these kind words and advice (and the cuteness of my 2yo who keeps coming to give me cuddles). I had bleeding yesterday at 11 weeks and an emergency scan revealed there had been no heartbeat for 4 weeks. Yesterday was pretty intense physically. Today- much less pain but lots of sadness.
Sending you love and support x

Frazzled2207 · 04/02/2017 11:22

So sorry for your loss. I have a few friends who have had an erpc and broadly found it not too bad.
Please don't go to London unless you feel up to it. I know explaining to your colleagues will be hard but they will understand.

Helenq10 · 04/02/2017 11:50

Sorry for your loss! I have just come home from hospital after going through similar. On Monday (at 10 weeks) i started bleeding. I had a scan on the tuesday and told our baby was dead. Im diabetic and therefore advised to have medication
To speed things along. I had to stay in hospital for this. First i had the tablets inserted but that didnt work. Then i took them orally which caused some period like cramping but nothing else. I had two furthef attempts with tablets but thursday they decided i needed surgery. I was nil by mouth from midnight thursday but yesterday the hospital was so busy that i didnt get seen until 6pm yesterday. It was horrible. Especially as the gyni ward i was on was next to the maternity ward. So in my lowest moments over the past five days i was forced to watch the comings and goings of new mothers and excited fathers with teddies and "its a boy/girl" balloons. At night all u could here was the sound of new born baby cries. I have just got home this morning to finally start to get over it.

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fluffiny31 · 04/02/2017 20:08

Hi op. I have just gone through this. Although i knew something was wrong as i had a gut instinct. I went for a private scan at 11w 1d to be told baby was alive but measured 3 half weeks behind. I knew i was going to lose him. My midwives didn't care because i was due my 12 week scan in just over a week and i hadn't bled. My doc got me in for scan tues just gone to be told there was no hb. It broke my world. I had surgery on wed as i couldn't face flushing my baby down the toilet for me that would be too much. The day after the op i was tender and tired. Although I'm physically ok now albeit a few pains i am not very emotionally balanced they recommend 2 days off work after surgery but i am taking longer due to the emotional effects and the job i do. I'm sorry for your loss i hope the surgery goes ok.

Largemelons · 05/02/2017 15:59

I'm sorry for your loss. I had exactly the same situation 2 weeks ago. Total shock as no bleeding and a normal scan with hb at 8 weeks.
I chose an ERPC which I had to wait four days for. The staff were amazing and kind and I felt well looked after.
I'm still bleeding 12 days on from it but it's not really heavy, just irritating.
I had the op on a Tuesday and just took the rest of the week off but was probably ok by the Thursday/Friday tbh.
Emotionally it's hard as even when you think you're ok, the hormone crashes and craziness made me very prone to mood swings.
I'm just waiting for the bleedingvto stop now so I can get on with trying again!
I bought a birthstone ring for the month my baby was due. It will always remind me

MyGastIsFlabbered · 05/02/2017 16:07

I had medical management just over 5 years ago after there was no heartbeat on a scan. I was terrified of the pain but actually it wasn't as bad as I'd thought. But I 'knew' when I passed the embryonic sac (was on the toilet at the time) and I cried and cried about flushing my 'baby' away. I now have a bouncing 41/2 year old (in addition to my 7 year old) but I do still think about the one I lost (convinced it was a girl for some reason-I have 2 boys). Please allow yourself time to heal from this, both physically and emotionally, it's a horrible shock and I really feel for you.

Greenglassteacup · 06/02/2017 18:09

How are you doing OP?

Original poster

user1480930113 · 06/02/2017 19:37

I am OK. Got back home around 5 ish and today couldn't have gone any better under the circumstances. Not in too much pain but as a few people have said emotionally it's a different story. Thanks for the kind words and to anyone going through the same sending big hugs. My 4 year old gave me the tightest squeeze when I got home and it made it a lot better x

OP posts:

gameofchance · 06/02/2017 19:46

I had problems with the op. Not from the op itself but from the drugs they gave me afterwards. Can't remember what they called - diclofenac? but they gave me really really bad diarrhoea which was the last thing I needed as ended up back in hospital. Found out after the event this can be a side effect.

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