I am on my 5th pregnancy and so far have had 4 miscarriages in the past 3 years. After my third I was referred to the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic to investigate which has been great but it's a double edged sword...the tests say there's nothing wrong with either of us, we're both fit and healthy just unlucky (which stings a little every time someone says it!)
Our first miscarriage was suspected eptopic but came away naturally and was so quick after we started trying we didn't really takes in. 6 months later we conceived again and were over the moon, I was full of symptoms and my fiancé ( at the time, we're now married) was hilarious to watch, he was almost giddy! The wedding was all book so with some jigging around we moved it forward and were excited about the first scan. Then the day came, 3 days before Christmas and we discovered the fetius had stopped growing at 6 weeks and I was going to miscarry. It took 9 weeks to finally miscarry which was the day after our wedding day.
We took a break and started trying again 3-4 months later and in November 2015 fell pregnant again but miscarried at 6 weeks but without much drama this time. I had been going to the doctors to even tell them I was pregnant but a friend insisted I go and talk to them so I did and they referred me to the recurrent miscarriage clinic, which was actually reassuring because I didn't have to keep doing this alone.
So we went and opted for every test they offered right down to chromosome testing because we just wanted to know if the heartache would every be worth it. All of the tests came back fine with a slight negative on my nuclear cells but our consultant didn't think it was enough to worry so gave a prescription of folic acid and proestrogen to start as soon as we became pregnant again. Which we did in May 2016, I started then straight away with hope in my heart that this was it but at 6 weeks exactly the cramping and bleeding started again.
The forth miscarriage hit really hard, I was so emotional and broken by the whole thing I wasn't sure I wanted to even try anymore because you feel like such a useless person not being able to do the one thing a women should be able to do.
After a few months I recouped and after another meeting at the recurrent miscarriage clinic we decided to try again. This time they had prescribed folic acid, proestrogen, steroids and a blood thining injection as they think my body is rejecting the fetius as its a foriegn body and this is why '6 weeks' is a recurring issue for me. So we tried again.
Here I am, not 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant and have just discovered a brown discharge which is all too familiar. My heart is sinking by the minute and as much as I want to believe it's going to be ok...I have an awful feeling.
Sorry for the essay but we've stopped announcing pregnancy to anyone and I'm not sure I can do this alone again.