There's something I'm not facing up to. I lost my ds at 20 weeks nearly two years ago. I think the funeral home still has his ashes. I read a letter my dh received notifying him about the collection of ashes. DH didn't tell me; I don't think he wanted to cause me further distress.
The thing is I had visions of having my ds's ashes buried along with me. But I struggle with the thought of having his ashes here in the house. I don't know it is unbearable as it is but I think of always having that reminder here will just be so difficult (obviously I don't forget; I think about him every day). I would like a woodland type cremation/burial for myself I think; unfortunately there isn't one near us probably forty or so miles away and who knows we might move. It's just so hard and I'm having a real problem facing up to it. I have received counselling and take mild ads I guess I just kept putting this bit off. Any advice? Anyone been in the same predicament. I would hate the funeral home to scatter the ashes without my consent.