Hi Hayls, so sorry this has happened to you too. Its so incomprehensibly horrible and just so unfair.
I went through the surgical procedure last week, I was 10+3 and the baby just about 10 weeks. I was shown nothing but kindness and compassion from all the staff, it was awful but they really looked after me and made me feel safe.
I was terrified about the general anaesthetic. I had a pretty major operation on my mouth 18 years ago and a very bad reaction to the GA. It was badly handled and I ended up with panic attacks for 10 years afterwards.
I told the doctor immediately about my previous experience and he got the Anaesthetist to come and talk to me quickly. She was brilliant, so reassuring, and was suitably horrified when I explained what had happened to me previously. She explained that this would be a very quick, light anaesthetic and as soon as I was awake I'd be aware of my surroundings. She advised I'd have pain meds and I'd be given anti sickness too. I got her to talk me through how and where I'd go to sleep, and how I'd wake up and if I'd have a mask on, would I be on a bed, and so on. Everything went just as she'd explained, DH came with me to the door then I had a nurse and two Anaesthetists looking after me. I was given the first dose into the back of my hand, they explained I'd feel dizzy ( I did, it was a bit grim), then the second dose and I just closed my eyes. Next moment I was wake in the recovery room with a nurse with me. I'd been having a dream and was peeved I woken in the middle of it! I was sleepy but calm and comfortable, so much so I went back to sleep. I think I was in recovery for 30 mins and was then taken back to the ward. I had my eyes closed all the way back up the corridors as I didn't the the feeling of being wheeled along.
Once I was back on the ward I was a bit shakey as I was apparently cold so I got wrapped in an extra blanket. I was obviously very upset about having the procedure but was completely aware of my surroundings and didn't feel sick at all. I was a bit alarmed I'd not got any knickers on so the nurse helped me with that.
It was all so quick the nurses had to phone DH to come back to me as I'd made him promise to go and get himself some food, he was amazed just how 'with it' I was when he got back to me.
I felt absolutely fine to go home after I'd had a drink and eaten a bit of toast, was fine to get dressed, got to the loo then walk to the car and back into the house. I've not felt any effects from the the GA at all. Physically I've been really ok, little pain, little bleeding, if anything this has made the whole thing feel very surreal but I think because of the enormity of the emotional trauma of what has happened it's probably good to minimise the physical side of things if at all possible.
With regards to the question about what to do with the remains of the baby, I just had no idea I'd even be asked, it hadn't even crossed my mind and it completely floored me when asked so I'm glad you are forewarned. It's an awful thing to talk about and I really don't want to upset you or anyone else but I'll explain what was offered to me and what I chose. I was given four options, hospital appointed funeral directors, private funeral directors, to be given the remains myself or to dispose of them as per trust policy. Neither DH nor I are religious so the funeral options seemed too much and too formal.
I'd though about if the misscarriage had happened naturally and I'd delivered the complete baby at home I'd like to have our own little service in the garden perhaps and bury him and plant a special tree in memory. I don't know.
Because of how the procedure has to be completed (the doctor will explain exactly how, DH didn't know and this really upset him) I couldn't imagine what I'd be given at the end and I really didn't think of it as my baby. This is just me, so if you feel different then I'm sorry to speak like this. I asked that the remains be dealt with as per Trust policy. Writing it down now this feels callous but it's all I could do at the time.
DH and I habe talked about doing something to remember our baby by, a tree would be lovely, something to grow, something tangible, but we are moving soon so not sure. I feel like I want a tiny little tattoo to carry with me always, something visable I can touch. I've not mentioned this to DH yet, I'm the least likely person to have a tattoo and he'd probably think I'd been at the gin!
I really hope that wasn't too hard to read, I couldn't find any 'real' information and didn't know who to ask. I think I may ask for a copy of my scan when Im feeling a bit stronger although I may change my mind. I did get some brilliant support from the ladies here though which I'm so thankful for.
Sending you much strength and hugs.