I suffered a miscarriage in 2014 and my username will probably tell you that I've had a baby since.
I was just talking to my husband yesterday about how much easier it has got. I know I've got another baby now, but even before then.
The pain is so much at the beginning, and probably the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with but it really does get easier.
It's so hard for women to go through these things. Not only is it a terrible loss, but you have do endure it physically and hormonally too.
I let myself have a week before I made a decision regarding how I 'managed' the miscarriage. Our hospital were very supportive. We went back in to ask more questions and i couldn't take it all in on the day I found out.
We then decided to manage it surgically but only once I had another scan to confirm everything so I didn't have any doubts. But i completely understand your decision. I'm only saying it in case it's fear of ending it yourself which I understand is an incredibly hard thing to come to terms with.
But physically it was a great decision as it was such an easy recovery, meant I didn't have to see anything that would have upset me. They dealt with me so sensitively in the day surgery.
Then it's just a case of taking it a day at a time. People around me understood that I would sometimes just cry, but as time went on that became less and less.
Are you able to talk to your partner about it? Do you have girlfriends who you can just chat to? Often people want to help you but don't know how to. Most will gladly lend an ear.
It gets so much easier, i promise x