First pregnancy results in miscarriage

[Jolo81]

I'm heartbroken.
At 11weeks, I've had a miscarriage. We got pregnant so easily, we felt so lucky. I've had no symptoms other than sore breast and tiredness. My midwife assured me this was normal. I feel frustration at her now in retrospect, but she said the right thing at the time. She wouldn't have know it wasn't going to work out.
Monday morning, week 11 to the day I woke up with period pains. I wiped away blood and called the early pregnancy unit. The earliest appointment was the following afternoon. Monday the blood eased off until teatime, where I saw clotting and my heart sank. I went to A&E, but as I wasn't dying, I was sent home carrying more anxiety from the very matter of fact male doctor.
My partner and I went for the scan with managed expectations. More blood had passed and we knew only a miracle would saves us. I pictured our dating scan day, every single day since finding out. I've counted down the days and hours and here it was, 1 week earlier and not the dream situation I had wanted. Here, we were looking at our little peanut without a heartbeat. The first creation of my partner and I and it couldn't survive.
I couldn't get an appointment for management until 3 days later by which time I passed it naturally. Monday I was pregnant, Wednesday I wasn't. It all happened so quickly.
I'm trying not to work out dates of where the little heartbeat stopped, what I might have done. I know that it's common and something this time just didn't spark. I think I'm ok, but I get waves of grief. I want to move on but I don't to forget. The thing I'm finding the hardest is the fact that it was our first time and it's ended so badly. I'm worried that it won't happen again for, and that there is something wrong when our genes meet. I'm an anxious person which doesn't help. The reason I've joined is to find some positive stories and for some hope that people have had a similar experience and found their rainbow baby.

Hello,
I've never written on anything like this or read anything like it but I don't really know what to do. I had a MC with my 1st pregnancy in April at 11 weeks, I had a small amount of bleeding and my instincts told me something wasn't right. After talking to the NHS helpline (it was a Sunday and the midwives weren't answering) I attended A & E to be told in 6 minutes I'd got a urinary infection and to take some tablets. A couple of days later I wasn't happy with this explanation and pushed my GP for an EPADs referral where we were told that the sack was empty but was still in place. I was devastated and my husband, who had obviously thought I was overreacting, was in shock.

We opted for the medical option which resulted in me having the worst reaction, vomiting and collapsing in my office (horrifying), being taken by ambulance back to A & E and being on a drip. No side affects were ever mentioned to me and I was specifically told I could return to work. We then had no option but a d & c which was straightforward and successful.

I'm pregnant again, 6 weeks, first cycle after the MC and I'm beyond anxious. I analyse every little twinge, waive of nausea, whether my breasts are sore, how my stomach feels, my pants after every wee, I'm a nightmare and I can't help it. Today for instance, I feel fine and that's making me scared. It's going to be a long wait. Any advice?

I think when you have a miscarriage it takes away the innocence and joy of pregnancy. I totally relate to how you feel Dot. As I previously posted I had a number of M/Cs but also 3 successful pregnancies. For me on dd3 I couldn't even contemplate that I would have a baby or even talk about it until I was 14 weeks and in the safe zone as I believed. It is very tough going and I don't have any other advice than distraction at this stage. You will get there, please don't give up hope. If I could get there with all of the hurdles I encountered I have every faith that you will too.