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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

i'm miscarrying, having a s**t time, cheer me up pls???

23 replies

littleducks · 23/01/2007 10:14

I found out i was pregnant on jan 1st, but still had this awkward feeling of disbelief that wouldnt shift, end of last week i was feverish, terrible cramping and generally feeling awful went to docs, urine test negative but they dont normelly bother as very unreliable (had to wait 5 min for result) so blood taken for urgent hcg level, next morning ring for results, blood rejected as incorrectly labelled, so rearranged for blood repeat mon morning, but sat night started bleeding. Just hoping its a complete mc as dont want d and c.

Nobody really getting it atm, so after a bit of support.

OP posts:

ShowOfHands · 23/01/2007 10:19

I really am so sorry. I went through the same thing last summer. Thankfully, complete mc and I conceived again two months later and have had a text book pregnancy so far.

Have a big ((((((hug)))))))

I know how gut wrenching it can be. Do whatever feels right, don't worry about how you are feeling and ask for any help you need.

DimpledThighs · 23/01/2007 10:30

This is horrible poor you. You have to really look after and proirtise yourself for the next few days - whether it be eating chocolate and watching dvds or shopping or lunch with a friend or anything you need to indulge yourself at the moment. No excuses.

also I know you will be inclined to look long term but focus on getting yourself through the next few days without deep thought on lifes issues, now is not the time - your hormones are raging and you are going through a trauma. You need to focus onthe day to day stuff, only talk to people who help and support you and be nice to yourself.

It is so tough what you are going through - do everything in your power to make it easy.

Lots of love

(you are in good company with this misery honey.)

YummyMummy34 · 23/01/2007 10:35

I went through the same just before Xmas - I am so sorry and know the roller coaster you are on right now. I too had a feeling things weren't right - us girls just know don't we?

I had a complete mc but did end up in hospital for a night - not much help at all!

Is this your 1st pg? It was my second - DH won't consider ttc again so now having to deal with that as well.

Us Mumnetters are here for you. Take care.

Original poster

littleducks · 23/01/2007 10:50

3rd preg, 2nd mc im afraid.

Im further along this time though and its much more messy, not sure how much due to breastfeeding, and bit miffed sis in law was nice on phone first day then surprised second day that i was still staying at home, doesnt get why i turned down scan and dc and am trying for natural conclusion.

OP posts:

Mumpbump · 23/01/2007 10:55

Sorry to hear that you are having a m/c... I have had two as well and I know it can be hard - one you write off as bad luck, two raises more issues. But my doctor said that as I had a ds already, it was more than likely it was just very bad luck...

I agree it's much better to let nature take its course if at all possible. Medical intervention can sometimes do more damage than good. Thinking of you...

YummyMummy34 · 23/01/2007 11:03

The things people say amaze me - everyone has an opinion on what is a very private thing. Even trained medical staff come out with some rubbish!

I know it's hard but you need to do what is right for you - hormones are racing and they do funny things to your head.

Any medical intevention (scan etc) is your choice - don't feel guity if you don't choose to have one - as I said, everyone else seems to have an opinion on what is right for you...!

For the first time since my mc I actually feel a bit more positive - maybe it's the sunshine?

DimpledThighs · 23/01/2007 11:14

I have had 2 m/c and now have 2 lovely children. Hang on in there.

Catbabymummy · 23/01/2007 12:43

I had one last week so know how you must feeling. I stopped bleeding yesterday after about a week. Like you I really didn't want medical intervention but have said that I would have it if necessary. You ought to go for scan after to check everything is okay, I've been booked in for one next week, a fortnight after it happened.
I only really suffered severe pain for a couple of days, you can take codeine or dicofenac if you are finding it hard to cope - I found that really helped. The other thing that helped was a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream (the mint choc one).
And I ate loads of liver pate. well couldn't eat while pg, so figured have some now...
Sod your SIL, you need rest and plenty of fluids, physically and emotionally you are going through a major trauma.
Big hugs I hope you get through it. Big hugs heading your way.

feedmenow · 23/01/2007 13:48

Oh Littleducks, very sad for you. Have just had mc myself - I chose to have the ERPC cos nothing was happening naturally and cos I felt like I was in a bit of a limbo just waiting, and cos, to me, the ERPC felt like the easiest and quickest way out. I really admire all you ladies who let nature take its course, and I hope it is as quick and painfree as possible, and that you take care of yourself and start to feel better really soon. xxx

Catbabymummy · 23/01/2007 16:50

I consider myself very lucky that it happened within a day of me finding out I had had a missed m/c. I really feel for those who have it linger for weeks

DimpledThighs · 23/01/2007 17:00

littleducks

How are you doing?

Have been thinking about you today.

hertsnessex · 23/01/2007 17:10

im so sorry littleducks.

thinknig of you. i have been their myself , give yourself time.

Original poster

littleducks · 23/01/2007 21:13

thanks for your kind words, i really needed the support and appreciate it

its not that my sil is trying to be unkind we just view things differently, we had our daughters close together and used to discuss and debate pregnancy option freely without worrying about being outspoken, i suppose she doesnt realise that this is something im not willing to be open to discussion about

argueing alot with my dh, dont know if its hormones or what but he is really pissing me off, eg. he took my dd out so i could have some space but didnt feed her lunch till 5.30 as she didnt notice not realising she wpould then want milk all night when i need the rest most

physically starting to feel better today so hope im on the mend

OP posts:

Mumpbump · 24/01/2007 11:04

I think you have a lot of different emotions running through you after a m/c, including anger, frustration, etc. Your hormones will be all out of kilter for a while too, so go easy on yourself and tell your dh that he just has to roll with the punches for the time-being, so to speak. I think it can take a couple of weeks for your hormones to settle down; the emotional after effects are likely to take longer... Hope you start to feel a little better soon.

RnBee · 24/01/2007 11:06

so sorry littleducks I hope you are alright x

Catbabymummy · 24/01/2007 11:15

Thinking of you. I'm still having up and down days, so not surprised you are. Just take it easy don't be hard on yourself. You are very fragile atm.
Take care xx

diddle · 30/01/2007 14:22

Littleducks - how are you feeling? hows life at home. Has DH been improving? bear in mind he's a man and will think he's doing well but not consider past that minute

Greensleeves · 30/01/2007 14:27

Oh no how awful for you Littleducks.

I don't know how to cheer you up, but I really am sorry.

Greensleeves · 30/01/2007 14:30

But in terms of getting the support and sympahty you need out of dh - I usually find I have to tell him frankly what I want him to do. He holds back not because he doesn't care but because he's worried about getting it wrong and upsetting me even more. Is it possible your dh is doing that?

fresco · 03/02/2007 10:39

hi littleducks

so sorry about what you are going through.had m/c before dd1 and was awful, thought i would never conceive again and just had baby 3 , ds who is on ventilator just now at 7 weeks.dont know if he is going to make it but there we go.and brooding again badly now.your dh has same reaction as my dh, that is i belive normal, but may want another one soon just like u once hes come to term with it.

Greenblock · 03/02/2007 11:54

Hi, I am having a miscarriage at the moment and I am amazed at just how common it is! Everyone seems to have had one or knows someone who does but until now I didn't know anything. I have been dealing with it by crying (spontaneously), having days off work, and today I had my hair cut and am pampering myself and on a shallow level this is really working. It sounds odd, but knowing that it is actually really common has really helped me deal with it--lots of people know how I am feeling and that makes me feel less alone. Sorry if this isn't what you were looking for, and I'm very sorry for your loss.

Catbabymummy · 04/02/2007 17:58

Yep it's one of those things i noticed too. No-one has ever had a m/c until you have had one, it's just one of those things that doesn't seem to be talkd about. Hope you are okay, don't worry about the crying, it's expected. You have suffered a severe emotional and physical trauma as expect to be very fragile atm.

Greenblock · 04/02/2007 18:25

I kept spontaneously bursting into tears last week - I was sent home from work on Thursday after I just started crying in the middle of my lunch. Today is the first time I have told someone without crying so things are looking up.

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