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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Miscarrying at 9 weeks, need support/advice - not for squeamish

17 replies

Catbabymummy · 16/01/2007 12:19

Had mild cramps/back ache Sunday night. Went to A&E yestrday morning as notice blood. Had scan, embryo but no heartbeat. Utterly devastated. Went home, dh took me to GP was NOT very helpful, though sympathetic. Tries to ring EPAC at local hospital all I get is a f*ing answering machine. GP also left a message yesterday. Losing quite a bit blood, clots the work, wearing night time towels and changing every couple of hours. Getting horrible painful crampls every 5-10 mins since wee hours of this morning. Going back to see GP this afternoon on NHS Direct recommendation. Feel absolutely washed out and headache as well as horrible cramps and back pain.
This was 1st pregnancy. Why did noone tell me that mc so commen for first timers, apparently on in 4 ends in m/c thought it was much higher. PLease advise me if you've been through this.

OP posts:

Cappuccino · 16/01/2007 12:21

you poor thing

I had a miscarriage in between dd1 and dd2

just take care of yourself for the day

xxx

jamum · 16/01/2007 12:22

Hugs to you, it's awful isn't it. I just took lots of painkillers, and we went away for the week too, as I couldn't bear to be in the house while it was happening.

But I did conceive 2 months later and had a normal pregnancy.

pindy · 16/01/2007 12:22

Sorry to hear what you are going through, not been in the same situation but lost my first at 26 weeks.

I agree with you about not realising how high the MC rate is.

Thinking of you and bumping so someone with experience may be able to help.

foundintranslation · 16/01/2007 12:23

I'm very sorry cbm - I've mc 3 times, incl my first ever pregnancy, and it's awful, absolutely gutting.

I think I would skip the gp in your case and go straight to epu. You will certainly need another scan, in case the mc is not complete.

LaylaandSethsmum · 16/01/2007 12:24

As you say m/c is very common unfortunately, look after yourself and give yourself time to grieve.
These physical symptoms will settle soon although if you've lost a lot of blood it may be worth asking for a blood count to make sure you're not anaemic.

xxxTake care

jamum · 16/01/2007 12:27

Pindy, how awful for you

cazzybabs · 16/01/2007 12:29

I have just had my second mc. Both times I have bled through 4 nightime towels (wearing them all at the same time). When I passed the sac the bleeding eased and then I bled (like a normal perod except for a few more clot) for about a week.

EllieHsMum · 16/01/2007 12:29

So sad for you Hope you have lots of hugs & support

NotQuiteCockney · 16/01/2007 12:32

Miscarriages suck.

I've had two, 10 weeks and 11. (But had a baby after each one, go figure.)

I'd stay away from the doctors, they can't really do anything for you at this point. Are you taking painkillers? You can take cocodamol, that often helps.

You need to go into A+E if you are soaking through more than one giant pad per hour. Yes, that's a lot of blood, but unless it's that bad, just stay home.

Azure · 16/01/2007 12:36

Sorry to hear this Catbabymummy. When I had my first miscarriage at 12 weeks I was completely taken aback at how awful it was physically as well as devastating mentally. I lost a lot of blood including clots - at one stage I had to just sit on the loo as it was flowing out. At this stage you just have to let it come out - I doubt whether your GP can offer you much other than painkillers. I would recommend you request a scan for a week's time (or whenever) to make sure everything has passed. I was very unlucky in that mine dragged on for ages and I would not wish that on anyway - a D&C would have been much better. Take time to feel sad and to mourn your little one - it is a bereavement. FWIW I had a healthy boy before my miscarriages (I had 2) and a healthy boy afterwards. Take care of yourself and continue to post if needed - unfortunately there are a lot of us who have been through this.

radcliffe · 16/01/2007 12:44

Feel for you had miscarriage at 11 weeks very difficult as was first pregnancy. My GP was crap really. I spoke to the midwife's office have you been booked in with them yet? I ended up having the D& C operation so you may need to see someone about this.

I know it is devastating but try to think ahead. It does happen a lot but you can go on to have a healthy child. I am the mother of two now. But after fertility treatment and a miscarriage never thought it was going to happen

thehairybabysmum · 16/01/2007 12:44

Hello CBM, very sorry to hear this...i was in the same situation a couple of months ago and its just so sad and horrible.

At my hospital the EPAC unit was only open in the morning....you could ring your GP and see if he will get you a referral for tomorrow. You can opt for a D&C which will make it quicker...I bled for 10 days (but lost two embryos) and with hindsight would have preferred the D&C to natural route as i felt horribly in limbo while it continued.

Like you i was shocked at how common it is...i havent told loads of people but the majority i have told have had one too . Hopefully at thte very least this will mean that you will have someone in RL who understands to talk to too??

I found the support on MN amazing...keep posting as there are people here who will help you through it.

As a positive everyone i (now) know who has had a mc has managed to have a healthy baby too, either before or after, so hopefully this will be the case for you too at some stage.

caffeinequeen · 16/01/2007 12:46

take care of yourself.

Mumpbump · 16/01/2007 12:54

Just saw this thread, but have already posted on the other one!

Original poster

Catbabymummy · 19/01/2007 21:48

Thanks for all your lovely advice. I think when I did my original post, my internet connection went on the fritz hence it posted twice.
Am feeling very down today. Dh got rather drunk last night and was weeping on my shoulder. He has been very wonderful through this and he felt so guilty unburdoning on me, be he's suffered a lost as well.
I haven't been out of the house without him and now feeling worried that I can't. I am planning a solo trip out somewhere tomorrow, if I do that I think I'll be okay to go back to work tomorrow. I have been feeling excessively tired today, slept quite late this morning, and nap this afternoon. Still, I have been decorating - painted dss bedroom yesterday and today - basically to keep busy, but I think I've over done it. Sometimes I feel absolutely fine and then I'm exhausted and depressed. Trying to keep together as I really need to get back to work on Monday, just sitting round the house is not do me an good.

OP posts:

Original poster

Catbabymummy · 19/01/2007 21:52

Tomorrow? I meant Monday.. I'm losing track of the days...

On the plus side, dh and I have booked a night in a posh hotel, the weekend after I have my scan to check I'm all clear, or if I'll need surgery (hoping not!). Am looking forward to that, it has a spa and everything!
Really want to get pregnant asap, feel so empty and when not with dh, so lonely.

OP posts:

buttons6 · 05/02/2007 14:06

Hi, I feel like I have just found a room full of friends. I have had three miscarraiges this year. Am going through the latest one now.... I am fourtyfive years old. I know many older women having healthy babies. Does anyone know of anyone using hormone treatments to maintain a pregnancy? Should I look into this or just accept the fact my expiry date has arrived? Thanks for being there...

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