Returning to work & general health after MC

[GC2016]

Im hoping to talk to some angel parents who've experienced the heartwrenching loss of Miscarriage.

Ive felt there really isnt enough support in general, certainly not enough information about what to expect physically and mentally post-MC.

I spoke to the MC Association Helpline and they were lovely, but the feeling of loss, emptyness, confusion etc is very over bearing and made so much worse with how unsupported ive felt in the work place (this has been extremely difficult to deal with and made even more difficult because some of my work is in an environment with children/toddlers/babies/mums to be) and the ongoing physical symptoms 6 weeks aftet MC that I cant seem to get a straight answer for from anyone, some of which have been very frightening and alarming but ive been made to feel slightly ridiculous when phoning EPU asking what the hecks going on when im passing (TMI ALERT) clots the size of my hand and flooding with blood everywhere - it was so similar to the actual MC i feel traumered over again!!!! But apparently its 'normal' ?

Anyone feel/felt the same or been through all of this and can chat about how you got through it all etc?

Its been one of the most frightening and lonely times ever (dont get me wrong my partner, family and friends have been wonderful) but i cant help feeling that im going slightly round the twist with everything atm.

Hello GC. I'm so sorry for your loss. This is an unbelievably difficult time.

I lost my baby a month ago at 16 weeks. A week after the induced labour I felt like death, was in a lot of pain and passed some 'tissue' - not clots. I phoned the midwifery unit and I was told it was normal, and seemed to suggest that the emotional pain of it contributes to the physical pain and fear. The midwife I spoke to was very helpful, kind and sympathetic, and agreed that the whole thing is really rough and told me to take it easy. I was also told that if I had substantial bleeding I should get in touch, as well as if I had any hint of an infection. Fortunately I had bleeding which only lasted about two weeks, and gradually peetered out to brownish spotting. I think I'm now approaching my first period. I'm sorry your bleeding/ passing of clots sounds very substantial and ongoing. I'm surprised that is normal (especially the size of the clots this long afterwards), but perhaps it depends on the circumstances of the miscarriage. Mine was at 16 weeks and the retained placenta meant I had surgery to remove a lot. It is horrible, and I'm sorry you are having to re-live the miscarriage. I've been trying to think positively about the physical effects and not direct anger or other negative thoughts towards my body, for example - I feel like crap because my body knows I need to rest - I was bleeding/ passing bits of who-knows-what because my body knows it needs to get rid of them to make my uterus a healthy place again. This might not be helpful, but thought I'd share.

Allow yourself to feel how you are feeling. Be the most kind and compassionate you have ever been to yourself. I've found this key because everyone else moves on more quickly than I have.

Sending lots of love x

Thank you very much for your reply and talking about it openly, I feel your emotional pain and send my love to you xx

I MCd at home naturally at 11 weeks, it was painful and frightening but i didnt feel the need to go to A&E and had my partner for support.

2 weeks after my MC i had a scan at the EPU, this had been arranged when my partner and I had to go about concerns re our pregnancy in the first instance and where told that we were likely to MC.

I phoned to ask if i had to keep that appointment and told them that sadly we had lost our baby. I had to go, I was dreading going back to the Maternity Unit - its awful to go knowing you wont be leaving with your child... the 2nd scan and the scan to confirm what we knew was on the scheduled day of our 13 week scan - they called me that morning to confirm and i had to explain i wouldnt be going because we'd lost our baby.

The sonographer at EPU confirmed my uterus was clear and normal and we were sent on our way - no aftercare information or leaflets.

I know that my body will take a while to get back into normal cycle and id read that the 1st and subsequent periods will be heavy...but nothing prepared me for the pain and fright of those big clots or whatever they were!!!

Ive had spotting on/off since MC 4 weeks after I started what i thought was my proper 1st period and this is when i woke up at 5am flooding.

Ive been under a lot of pressure to carry on as normal at work and spent last week crying at most things, totally and utterly exhausted.

I had a frank conversation with my employer earlier in the week after asking if i could take some time away from everyone and work from home, the option was to go off sick or work from home...after some discussion it was agreed but it wasnt an easy, supportive conversation.

I think youre advice of looking after yourself is very valid and something that i think most people struggle to do.

I wish there was lots more readily available information and support and the subject of MC wasnt so tabboo.

I hope youre taking your own advice and taking care of yourself. Thanks again for replying ♡♡