Back to work nervousness - anyone feel the same?

[Newstart123]

Back to work tomorrow after taking 2 weeks off after Tfmr for anencephaly. Much wanted rainbow for baby Sam who was born still at 39 weeks. So nervous. Fed up of feeling like I have to start again iykwim. Worried about being known as 'the one who loses babies'.
Know I won't sleep tonight - really trying to rebuild my life. But it's hard😿

I feel exactly the same! Not going back for 2 weeks though, would have been 10 weeks in total after my 2nd late loss in a year. My stomach turns thinking about it...same as you, feel like I am now the one in the corner who keeps losing babies! Awkward.

The reality is though they won't be thinking that. They will just be really nice and do anything they can to help settle back in. Walking back in will be the hardest bit but I'm sure by lunch time you will feel relieved.

So sorry for your losses.

...two weeks isn't that long though. Are you sure you are ready?

I'm thinking of sending an email out to some of my colleagues to gently explain I'm a bit nervous and to bear with me. All I want to do is never return though, seems easier!

How much time did you take off after Sam?

3 months after Sam. Think I am trying to go back so soon after losing last baby as I'm worried that I will sort of lose respect from colleagues if I take too long. Also I want to try and conceive again in the future (can't think about this until I have taken 3 months of high dose folic acid)so don't want to take the p.
Sorry for your loss marmite - baby loss is something u tend to think will happen to others, isn't it. More than one just seems cruel x

Yes it's horrendous and cruel, a gang nobody wants to be in.

Will be thinking of you in the morning. Hope you get some sleep. Let me know how it goes.

Hope you get in ok today x

2 weeks really isn't long lovely. Are you sure you've taken long enough?

I have had one tfmr and just lost ds (I'm going for inter uterine death rather than mmc). I'm the same, I worry about now being the 'one who looses babies/can't have anymore babies' etc.

I'm going back this week after 4 weeks off. I'm great friends with people at school, Sen a few of them already and I'm still stressed about going back for one morning!

All went well today. Had some concentration issues as I didn't get a wink of sleep last night but left early afternoon ( I have been told to take it easy which I plan to do). Everyone was lovely - I could tell that a few people felt awkward but I understand. Turns out my boss has had numerous losses in the past so she understands where I am coming from.
Avoiding watching One Born - they were filming at our hospital when Sam was born. Can't bear to watch others having their babies and taking them home when I should have been taking Sam home.

Well done, that's great that you managed all that. Concentration is something I struggle with too, it's really tough.

I think it does help to have someone who understands loss as well.

Even seeing one born on the TV guide makes me feel a bit funny so I can't imagine how you feel with them filming in your hospital

Well done for getting through it Newstart. A huge hurdle, but it's done. You should reward yourself with something nice.

Great that your boss understands. Hope the rest of the week goes ok for you.