Hello, I saw your post and had to write, I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this.
My experience is different to yours but I hope it helps you.
I had to have a termination in January at 20 weeks due to unsurvivable abnormalities in my baby detected during the ultrasound. It was devastating and shocking, and it felt so unfair.
In terms of what the process itself involved, I had to take a pill that day to start and then 48 hours later we went to the hospital for the termination. I'm not sure what it may involve for you, but I was given medicine to bring on 'labour', with a dose repeated every four hours. The contractions were painful but managed with morphine. After 8 hours and some pushing my waters broke and one hour later I delivered my baby. Another hour later and I delivered the placenta.
I wasn't prepared for the fact that it would involve contractions, so much pushing and would be so much like labour. I think when the dr was explaining it to me I was in too much shock to take it in. It was also difficult to be in the labour ward and not take my baby home.
The midwives were incredible and I was fortunate enough to have the same person with me for the whole ordeal - they will look after you and make you as comfortable as possible.
I had to stay overnight as I had a bad reaction to the morphine and the next day they gave me more medicine to stop my milk coming in, which I was warned about by some lovely ladies on mumsnet. My breasts were very swollen and sore for about a week after and they did leak a little. I bled for about 4 weeks, then I got my period 35 days after. Physically my recovery was surprisingly quick, but emotionally is another story. I've now had two fairly normal cycles and we are trying again.
If you want to pm me I'm happy to answer any questions you have in more detail. I'm so sorry again to hear you are going through this 
x