***********Jalexandra***********

[Bubble99]

Yes. It does help. But I needed to be a couple of years away from his death to be able to cope with seeing his pictures.

'Time is a healer.' That's often said, but usually at a time when you're feeling so raw with grief that it doesn't make sense.

I'm so sorry to hear that you too had a stillborn child. How long ago did your daughter die? It still hurts me so much but I'm taking so much comfort from my new baby, I held him very tightly while I looked at the photos and he helped me through it.

Thank you so much for that. I am so sorry to hear what happened to your ds.
My dd died 4 years ago now. She was my first pregnancy and died due to the umbillical cord getting caught twice around her neck.
Even though it was 4 years ago i still have trouble with what happened. i have had two children since then, I was pregnant with my ds 4 months after she died as I was desperate to fill the gap she left.
I have pictures and I have looked at them when we first lost her, but i think I have been burying my head in the sand since then.\
It is weird but I haven't talked about this at all since it happened even with dh.
It feels good to talk about it. Thank you.

I totally understand the feeling of needing to fill the gap. It must have been so difficult for you to go through a pregnancy, to get to the final stages yet to come away with nothing.

There was a poster here at the same time as I lost my baby boy during labour, who had a stillborn little girl who'd died only a couple of hours before she was due to be delivered by CS. I remember her saying how difficult it was for her to deal with all of the symptoms of being a mum without her baby, breastmilk, CS scar etc.
For me it was different because I had a surviving twin to look after so I came away with one baby instead of none. It helped, of course, but I got so upset when people commented "at least you've got a lovely new baby." That's like saying to an amputee " oh well, at least you've still got one arm/leg."

My DH doesn't like talking about it either. He was there when the doctors gave up trying to resuscitate his dead son and that will stay with him forever.

How old are your two children?

Bubble, how terrible for you and your dh.
I was only 28 weeks pregnant when I lost dd1. I imagine it is even worse when you are full term. I just suddenly stopped feeling any movements from dd. I rang the midwife who couldn't find a heartbeat, then a scan at the hospital revealed she had died. I had labour induced 3 days later. A dark time.
My ds has just turned 3 and dd is 18 months.