I had a miscarriage when I thought I was around 11 weeks. The doctors think I had lost it early and it just took a while to show it had happened (I didn't really understand what they meant).
It was my first ever pregnancy, I'm only 20, which I know is young but I was SO ready for it to happen. It's all I've ever wanted. I had already told my whole family, bought baby & you bubble bath, stretch mark cream and found a really cute piglet onesie I'd saved since I was little. I also know it's silly to get so ahead of myself. Believe me when I say I've learned my lesson. But I was so excited.
Then the day after I'd called my family I started bleeding heavily and after waiting for a scan (worst weekend of my life) they told me there was no sign of pregnancy in my uterus. I remember being upset but ready to try again, to the point where I was almost obsessed. Me and my boyfriend were trying to move house at this point too and everywhere we looked I was asking about the baby's room etc to the point he now doesn't want to try because I made it feel so awfully forced.
After all of this, I still want a baby. It's been a couple of months of trying so hard to change my mind, I even went and got the implant, thinking it was maybe just my hormones making me want one. But no. I can't stop thinking about my little peanut.
I'm sorry this is so long winded, I just had to get it out somewhere and here seemed best.