Please or to access all these features

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

This hurts in a way I never imagined.

19 replies

TuckingFablet · 05/02/2016 15:21

Yesterday morning I went to the loo and there was blood. I ignored it because I was clearly imagining it. It was 5.45am, I didn't have my glasses on. It's nothing to worry about.
It was something to worry about. The bleeding continued, bringing cramps along with it.
Took my daughter to toddler group, because I wanted to carry on as normal. The pain intensified.
I got a call from a midwife to arrange my booking in appointment who told me to go to a&e (really universe, you had to do that to me? Thanks a bunch)
After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, with painful interruptions of blood test attempts I was given a scan.
Seeing that empty womb broke my heart into a million pieces. This was happening and I couldn't ignore it anymore.
I was only 6 weeks along, so only early days, but I had known for two weeks and was beginning to get excited about becoming a family of four. Minituck would have a sibling. Now she won't. I don't think I can go through this again, so this is it for me. We will remain a 3.
All that remains is to have another blood test tomorrow morning to confirm it.
Goodbye littlest member of the Tuck family. I won't forget you.

OP posts:
GalwayGal123 · 05/02/2016 15:56

I'm sorry for your loss tuck Thanks

It's a month today since I miscarried at 6weeks...it's heartbreaking. I hope you have people to look after you through this, take it easy and look after yourself X

Vixxfacee · 05/02/2016 15:58

Sorry for the loss of your baby Sad
Really sorry. I hope you're being looked after.
It's been 4 years since my miscarriage at 10 weeks. It never stops hurting x

Ginmakesitallok · 05/02/2016 16:02

Sorry for your loss. I had 2 mcs before dd2, it really is Shit. Xx

TuckingFablet · 05/02/2016 16:36

Thankyou all. I just needed to write it down somewhere. Sort of get it out of my head, you know?

OP posts:
RoTo72 · 05/02/2016 18:17

Sorry for your loss. It's a shit place to be Flowers

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 05/02/2016 19:14

I'm sorry too, this happened to me 13 years ago and I was totally unprepared for the devastation I felt. It was my first pregnancy and we did go on to have two children but I will never forget that time.

newyear16 · 05/02/2016 19:21

So sorry. Flowers People who haven't had a miscarriage will never understand the total misery. A little person has gone forever.

TuckingFablet · 05/02/2016 20:02

I'm sorry for all of your losses. It's somethings no one should have to go through. Thanks

OP posts:
Imnotaslimjim · 05/02/2016 20:16

So sorry you're going through this, its utterly shit

I did it 6 times before I got my wonderful DS. Was so totally soul destrying but I have him and DD now

BeansMrSeanAndHeinz · 05/02/2016 21:55

So sorry to hear this tuck hope the blood test goes smoothly tomorrow and you have all the support you need

TuckingFablet · 06/02/2016 08:06

Blood test this morning. I just want it to be over Sad

OP posts:
flanjabelle · 06/02/2016 08:09

So very sorry for your loss. The heartbreak in your words is painful to read. You poor thing. I'm so sorry about your baby, and the future that will never be. You are in my thoughts. Flowers

TuckingFablet · 06/02/2016 08:18

Thankyou flan

OP posts:
WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 06/02/2016 17:27

I hope your blood test went ok Tucking Flowers

TuckingFablet · 06/02/2016 17:39

Thanks whoknows took a few goes again. They had no one to review it in today so I've got to wait for a phone call tomorrow. Another sleepless night for me it seems.

OP posts:
WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 06/02/2016 20:43

Were you seen in an EPAU (early pregnancy unit)? It's a long time ago for me now so details are blurred, but that's where my GP sent me and the staff there were kindness itself, I was given contact details afterwards if I needed to talk to anyone, which I didn't do (my occupational health nurse at work was amazing and I turned to her) but it was good to know the service was there.

TuckingFablet · 06/02/2016 21:07

Yeah I was. All the staff are lovely there. The doctor who I saw after my scan was the kindest man. Just so gentle and lovely.

OP posts:
TuckingFablet · 07/02/2016 10:52

So that's it all confirmed.
Fuck this. I want to go and get drunk but I can't because I have dd to look after.

OP posts:
flanjabelle · 07/02/2016 12:25

Oh op I'm so sorry. Every stage of it must be like another stab to the heart. Is there anyone who could have dd so you can ha be a chance to grieve for a while? Getting drunk and crying your heart out won't change anything, but it might be just what you need right now. Flowers

New posts on this thread. Refresh page