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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Think I am starting to miscarry, what should I expect and will I be able to cope at home?

26 replies

smellymelly · 26/12/2006 19:32

I am 6 weeks today, I thought something was wrong, just a gut instinct, and not feeling sick all the time just sometimes, which is unusual for me...so went to the gp today and had early scan. (Actually thought it maybe ectopic as I have aching shoulders - had one in 2003). I have never spotted before but just as I undressed for the scan I noticed some blood, whch the sonographer said is a bad sign for me as I have had other pregnancies and never spotted. So had scan, and the baby is too small for the gestation, and no heartbeat yet. She asked me to come back in a week to have another scan, so they can see if there has been any growth.

Mentally I feel ok, I understand that some things are just not meant to be, and it is very early on... That is why I can state the facts I guess, and not be too emotional. But I am worried about the physical side, we have 4 kids at home, and live in France, so I am learning how things work here and it is a little scary. I am starting to get a bit of stomach ache, and I just feel this may be the start. Will I be able to cope with this at home? What should I expect? Will it be like the mother of all periods?

OP posts:
Overrunderthemistletoe · 26/12/2006 19:37

Sorry to hear that Smellymelly, I haven't had experience of this, but my sil has had two. The first one at 8 weeks, wasn't painful, but she lost a lot of blood and was confined to her bathroom changing pads for hours.
her second one at 12 weeks was much more painful.
Hope that this works out okay for you

Kristingle · 26/12/2006 19:41

I had a MC at 6 - 7 weeks and physically it was ok. Just like a heavy period . not as bad as the lochia after a baby

lovelybird · 26/12/2006 19:56

Just wanted to send you a big hug SM and say I'll be thinking of you. So sorry to hear this sad news

Carmenere · 26/12/2006 19:59

Hi sorry to hear this, my only experience is that when I was pregnant and had some spotting at around 6 weeks the doc said just to take it easy and let nature take it's course. I diddn't miscarry but she said I would have managed ok at home as it was so early.

Mumpbump · 26/12/2006 20:02

I had a m/c at 6 weeks and it was like a heavy period with some stomach cramps. I think it probably varies from person to person, but I was told with a different late m/c to take ibuprofen for the pain if it was bad. You will probably pass some clots and some meaty bits - sorry if tmi. Bleeding afterwards can last some time. Sometimes, they recommend a scan to check that it has all cleared. If you are bleeding VERY heavily, though, I would go to A&E as there can be complications - don't want to frighten you as I'm sure it will be okay, but just be sensible if you do lose a lot of blood and feel faint or sick. So sorry for your loss...

merrylissiemas · 26/12/2006 20:03

im so sorry, this is a horrid thing to happen. hope that this helps tho. 2 of my 3mcs were at 6w. i started spotting on and off for 2-3 days, then i got a v sharp pain followed by a series of low cramps. a bit like contractions. my back was aching too, and that was also coming in waves. then the bleeding suddenly got v heavy and it felt like i was "pushing" the blood out. the tops of my legs ached (a bit like losing your virginity) and i felt v low. the bleeding can last between 2 and 10 days. mine stopped as soon as it started, no tailing off at all.

i know you feel ok at the mo, but if you want to talk my email is [email protected]

Bekks · 26/12/2006 20:10

Sorry to hear about that - I had a scan at 12 wks and found that the baby hadn't developed past 6 wks. I went home to miscarry naturally, which I did three days later, but I was bleeding a lot and starting to feel dizzy so I went into hospital (on New Year's Eve, not the best time...) and eventually had a d&c as there was a bit of the placenta stuck and I was haemorraging (spelling?). It wasn't great, but I was back at work a few days later and don't remember the bleeding being hideous and I don't remember the pain being particularly bad whilst I was miscarrying, but there was quite a lot of blood. I know quite a lot of people who have miscarried naturally at home - like period with clots as someone else described.

Take care. It's horrible because you know that lots of people miscarry (about half of my ante-natal group have) but you don't expect it to be you, particularly if you've already had kids.

whatwouldjesusdo · 26/12/2006 20:29

Very sorry to hear this news, smellymelly. I have had 2 similar miscarriages, and it was like a v heavy period, also expect some emotional lows.

I didnt have any hospital treatment either time, but iirc there was a risk of not everything coming away, and possibility of infection. The english hospital let me take this risk, and go without any further treatment.

Mumpbump · 26/12/2006 20:51

Two other things. When I rang the hospital after the last m/c to say that I wanted a scan to see if there was anything left, they told me to do a pg test. Also, chances are you will be on an emotional rollercoaster afterwards because it's not a nice experience (understatement) and because of all the hormones buzzing around your body. Take it easy and make sure your dh/dp understands he needs to just bear with you/give you lots of tlc.

Original poster
smellymelly · 26/12/2006 21:48

thanks for your kind replies, I have cramps now and am bleeding properly, so I presume this is it. Thankfully it hasn't dragged out for too long, with having to wait for another growth scan. But do feel it is a little bizarre as I only went to the hospital today.

Going to bed, and thanks again....

OP posts:
DimpledThighs · 26/12/2006 22:11

I am very sorry.

To warn you, your emotions will go up and down for the next few days and for me third day was worst. Keep telling yourself it is the hormones and you will deal with this when you have rested.

Rest if you can.

Come back for more support when you need it. Will check in.

Best wishes

Kristingle · 26/12/2006 23:18
Sad
Judy1234 · 26/12/2006 23:38

My doctor said I should have saved what came away rather than flushed it down the loo but of course I wasn't sure I was miscarrying at the time. I had no problems with the physical side at all, just a bit like a heavy period, not really much pain or anything, no need for any scraping out after either. Just very very sad.

merrylissiemas · 27/12/2006 19:50

thinking of you sweetheart

buktus · 27/12/2006 19:57

my first m/c was at 12 weeks but when i was pg with ds2 i thought i was m/c as i started spotting at 6 wks, was scanned and showing quite small no visible heartbeat and i had to return in a week and everything was normal, i dont want to build your hopes up but every case is different i have been on both sides and to m/c is so sad and the empty feeling is so horrible i hope you have people around you who can give you lots of love at the moment

DimpledThighs · 27/12/2006 19:57

hope you are okay.

take care.

Kristingle · 27/12/2006 22:26

how are you today?

Uki · 28/12/2006 01:49

Oh Smellymelly
I'm so sorry to hear this, you poor thing. Hope you are doing o.k.
You sound like you were well looked after, and although horrible, it sounds from your other post that it was all over quickly. To have a BFN at this stage is a good sign. Your body will return to normal very soon.

I will miss you from August thread. Take care and good luck for 2007

Original poster
smellymelly · 28/12/2006 10:54

Hi, yesterday was ok, cramps and bleeding, not really heavy but very much like after giving birth, I guess. Dh went to work though and left me with 4 kids, to look after! I told him to go but didn't realise how pissed off I would be by the evening! I also had to explain to 2 older kids that there was no more baby, very hard.. wish I hadn't told them to start with that I was pregnant.

Today still cramp and bleeding, but not losing litres, just medium flow I would say. But hubby is around more for me, so that helps. We were just relieved it wasn't another ectopic because that was so scary. Now however I am starting to realise what we have lost again! We are exceptionally grateful for the 4 we have, and I hope people do not think us greedy. Actually not sure we will try again. This one had such a special due date, my birthday.

Am I supposed to do another test then to make sure it has all gone? When would I do that?

Also nurse said go back for a scan in a week from 1st one, to check size but if I had pain and bleeding to go back before. But I just see this as inevitable so going back early won't do anything, should I go back on Tuesday though for them to scan me again?

OP posts:
Mumpbump · 28/12/2006 10:58

The only thing I was pleased about when I m/c was that we hadn't told my dsc so I can imagine how hard it must be for you to have to explain what's happened to your children.

On the EPU's advice, I did a pg test 2 weeks after the m/c and after all the bleeding had stopped so I am guessing that all your hormones will be back to normal after that length of time. HTH...

Uki · 29/12/2006 08:39

Sorry Melly

I got you confused with fettle post's when i mentioned that you had BFN.

So in answer to your question it is good to test a week after bleeding finishes and see if you get a BFN if not you could have retained products and then need a scan and or D&C.

It probably wouldn't hurt to have the scan though.

Sorry to hear about older dc taking it badly. It's not very fair

You sound like you've been through alot to get the dc you have, and naturally i think that makes you want more, so you are not greedy.

just give the ones you have an extra big cuddle.

my last m/c was certainly easier than the first two because i now have one ds, but also want more. I understand the due date too, my last m/c was due on dh's bithday and that hurts too.

merrylissiemas · 29/12/2006 16:05

how are you today melly?

Loulee · 29/12/2006 17:00

Melly, So sorry. Will miss you from August thread

Original poster
smellymelly · 29/12/2006 20:04

Not too bad today thanks. I really hate using st's though, just feel so dirty. Can I use tampax or not?

Just having to get on with it all. Pil arrived tonight, and each gave me a big hug.

My tummy is more bloated now than it was 4 days ago, is thst a bad sign? I look about 5 months pregnant now. It's not blood or something filling me up is it? I know that is probably a stupid question, but people are going to assume I am pregnant... I noticed PIL both looking at it!!

OP posts:
justbeme · 29/12/2006 20:42

I would stick to the St's, you need all the "products" to come out of you and i think you'll find that you keep flooding with a tampax . Just have lots of nice baths (and a handful of tissue for when you get out!) Ive never experienced the bloating when i was mc - so i cant say - but if its worrying you , phone the EPU/midwife up for advice.