3 months later and it still hurts

[Bonywasawarriorwayayix]

I had a D&C for a MMC exactly 3 calendar months ago yesterday.

I thought things were getting better, I thought I was healing emotionally. DH and I even decided on Sunday to not try again (we have DS age 2.3) and I am sure we've made the right decision. We were 60:40 about trying for DC2, so it's not the shock of the miscarriage talking.

But it seems like every person I know through child stuff, so see on a regular basis (I'm a SAHM) is pregnant with DC2 or has a newborn. I love these friends, yet this week I can't bear to see them. They know about my MMC and have been supportive.

I know there will be sad times still. I'm really dreading what would have been my due date, I was prepared for that. What I was not prepared for was such overwhelming sadness night now.

Sorry for the ramble, but some days I've had enough of all this and needed to vent in a way we only can to strangers.

The thing I've learned throughout this whole horrible experience is that it is so lonely. I'm really sorry for your loss. I'm 2 weeks post miscarriage. I was 13 weeks when I passed everything although the baby died at 8 weeks. I'm on antibiotics currently and flit between wanting to ttc, wanting to have my implant put back in and wanting to retreat into a fantasy world and pretend real life isn't happening. I have a 4 year old daughter so I feel guilty for feeling like that. I hope you feel better soon.

Thank you Loki. I'm sorry for your loss too.

It is very lonely. That had not really occurred to me. I don't know if it was made worse by being abroad when it happened (we were in the middle of a 3 month trip).

And yes, the guilt about being distracted when you have a DC.